Savior Stretching

He Wants Us

2010-08-23T08:02:00.002-06:00

Do you ever wonder why you exist? Do you ever feel like you don’t understand what your purpose in living is all about? This thought seems to be a prevelant one in our culture. The problem is that some say there is no real purpose; we just go day to day and what ever will be will be. But I am awakened to a deeper understanding. Most people of any intelligence will admit that the complexity of the human body indicates that we are not a product of a random, accidental collision of some space debris (My question is always, “where did the stuff that collided come from?”). Whatever you call this Creator, there has to be one. I call Him God.

The cool thing is this; He is able to make something out of nothing. He chose to create me, and you. I then move on to the question that everyone is asking…”why?”. Why did he create us? Were we created as some cosmic slaves to do His bidding? The answer is, of course, no. If we were slaves (which we are not…at least not unwilling ones) and He is all powerful (which He is) we would be beaten to stay in line and do exactly what He wants accomplished. We would not be allowed to bad mouth our master and do whatever we decided to do. We would be forced into labor that he determines. We are, however, voluntary bond servants. If we want to submit to Him and do His bidding that is the preferred way. But He does not force us there. So, what has me at the moment is this…God is all powerful and can do whatever he wants; He chose to create us; He allows us the freedom to decide whether we will serve Him. He doesn’t need us…but He wants us. How cool is that? He could do whatever he wants, when He wants. And He wants us…He wants to have a relationship with us. I read this morning in Romans that through His patience and kindness we are drawn to repentence. Our relationship is built on the fact that He extends himself toward us in hopes that we will accept. He is the dominant figure and yet he does not demand our allegiance. He offers it and is broken hearted when we reject it. My heart is moved by understanding that God wants me; He loves me and He wants to have a relationship with me. My purpose is to walk with Him and serve Him in whatever way he shows me, because He created me and I belong to Him.

Why were we created? We were created because God loves, and we are the object of His love. I think I will choose to be a bond servant because I understand that this is the best for me. The world has nothing to offer that is lasting. My Master owns it all and will withhold nothing from me if I submit to Him. Will you join me and serve the only one worth serving…the one who created you…the one who wants you?

Calling Out

2010-08-20T05:59:00.000-06:00

According to Proverbs 9 both wisdom and folly sit upon the highest point of the city and call out to those who pass by. Those who hear and respond to wisdom add to their life and are rewarded. Those who respond to folly find themselves in the house of the dead. I find that just because we think we hear a voice, it does not always mean that it is of God. Because we are fallen creatures, people of unclean lips and unclean hearts, we sometimes have a poor filtering system. Both wisdom and folly call out. Both offer something. Wisdom appeals to our moral nature and folly to our flesh. We like folly because our flesh says it is good and we get something that makes us feel good in the moment. I would caution you to spend time discerning the voice, listening to the message, and evaluating the content. Today we hear things from people, through things we read, in the music we listen to, and all the rest. The truth spoken by wisdom will always be in line with God’s Word, His Spirit, and His nature. If the words you hear are in some way in conflict with what God has already said, you probably should run. You are likely being enticed to a place where the dead reside.

Church?

2010-08-19T08:03:00.000-06:00

Church…I have heard people say for years that the church is not a building but the people. I guess I am confused. If the church is not a building why do we keep building bigger ones and putting the name “church” on it? Don’t misunderstand me; I am not a church basher. I love the church. But the church is, in fact, the body, the people. I understand the use of a building and the function it can have to serve people. But too often we end up serving the building. Think about it…how much time do you spend in the building? How much money is spent constructing and maintain the building? How much of your energy is spent in the building? My point is that the world is not in the building. The people we need to reach with the Good News are not in the building. So, I sense that God is saying to me that we need to simplify the process. Sure, we need a place to gather and worship and fellowship. But if we spend more time, effort and money in the building than outside the building we are missing the mission and focus.

Family Matters

2010-05-18T06:40:00.004-06:00

I am really missing my family. We have been apart for the better part of three weeks now. I am very excited that this weekend we will be reunited in our new home in Wichita. I have thought a lot about family lately. I have heard many people say that family comes first and that they are the most important thing in their life (except for God, of course); and I would agree. But, I have a little different take on this whole family thing. Bear with me a moment.

I believe that the church is a family. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ and He is the head. We all have a home and we spend time there together. Now, in our own family we have a home and we gather there and fellowship there; and for some of us, we retreat and hide out there. And I think that is what we too often do in the church. We retreat to our family abode and we hole up there. We talk a lot about getting outside the four walls of the church and taking the message of Jesus to those who would never enter through the doors. We call it responsible Christianity.

So, what is so different about our personal families? Why do we think that we should spend all our spare time in our home away from other people? I am not suggesting that we don't need time there to refresh and regroup and just love on each other. We need that as a family of God as well. But we don't have to be in our home to be with our family. Home is a sanctuary and not a podium. If we spend all our spare time there we are not being responsible with our time. We have to learn to balance our much needed home time with an even much more needed time in our communities.

We often say that churches are too inward focused and not getting outside themselves. I think we might want to take a look at our own lives and evaluate whether we are falling into that same trap. Know this; I love spending time with my family...there is little else I would rather do more. But what I am suggesting is that we set the example for the church and get outside our own four walls and begin to go forth, as a family, and demonstrate what real love and worship is all about. God knows we need it...and God knows the world needs it.

Take Off Your Pants!

2010-05-11T06:21:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had those dreams where you are in a public place and you are naked? Not that I expect you to answer this honestly. I have...many times. I'm not sure what that says about me, but I am revealing myself to you (not literally). People talk about how this is their worst nightmare. For sure it would be an extremely embarrassing moment. So, last night I had this dream and it was different than most. I was among a large group of people and was trying to change my clothes and people kept coming to meet me and introduce people to me. I remember feeling very anxious about new people getting to know me that well. But for whatever reason I was struggling to get my pants on and by the time I was done all the people I needed to meet were gone. I pulled something from this lesson...man the puns could be flying.

My thought is simply this; do we worry so much about covering that we miss the opportunity to get to know people? We are so concerned with making sure others don't see us as we really are that we miss the chance to really get to know them. I think people genuinely want transparency. It removes inhibitions that normally cover us and keep us from really being known. We all have stuff to hide. We all want to keep our dirty little secrets to ourselves. We fear greatly the thought of someone have access to our junk. We are deathly afraid of someone seeing our failures and faults. We are afraid of what they might think about us. I say we start a revolution...let us remove our pants!

Yeah, yeah...I know. That is a little overboard. But the idea is very radical. Let us be willing to be stripped of all that covers us and be known completely. Like I said, I think people really want to experience transparency. There is freedom in someone knowing your junk. You no longer have to expend the energy to hold up the facade. You no longer have to keep up the image. Who knows? You might even reach to the heart of someone else and their issues. And it is contagious. When you are brave enough to strip before others they are less inclined to cover. Heck, we could start our own nudist colony...sort of.

You know this is an age old problem. It started when Adam and Eve covered themselves before God; and we have been covering ever since. But it is not what God desires. He wants us to remove the fig leaf and be real before the world. I am not suggesting that you vomit your junk before the world on national television. But among people you would call friends you ought to be known. And as you desire to expand your relationships you should be willing to uncover. How many times have you thought you knew someone only to find out that you didn't know all you should? You find yourself saying, "really? I didn't know that".

I think I have much more to say about this, but for now I will let you chew on that...a revolution that requires its adherents to remove their pants!

Those Dang Scars

2010-05-05T06:51:00.002-06:00

It is amazing to me how things from the past affect things today. It is like a scar. Once it has wounded you it leaves a mark forever. I have a few scars. I fell when I was a child and cut my knee up pretty good and I have a permanent mark there. My daughter got run over by a wild and obnoxious boy and received stitches in her chin and she will bear that mark for the rest of her life (barring cosmetic surgery). Some of our scars have nothing to do with anything about what we have done; like my kiddo. Some are directly related to our stupidity; like me driving my tricycle off the edge of an elevated driveway. Regardless, scars remain.

The problem is, whether related to our own ignorance or not, we bear those marks for a lifetime. Then suddenly, one day we look down and remember that painful moment and our mind flashes to that time. In life we have those marks of pain and discouragement. We somehow heal and move on. Then one day, out of the blue, we notice the scar and our heart beats extra fast and anxiety comes as if we were back in that moment. Sometimes it is a circumstance similar to that painful moment and we are immediately thrust back into that time in our life. We are conditioned to feel the pain all over again and suffer the same hurt we once felt.

I have come to accept that scars are a part of life. I hate them and despise them. I don't want anything to do with them and beat myself up every time I notice them. Many of my scars, I hate to admit, are a product of poor decision making. And I am haunted at times with those memories. I am fully covered in the blood and know that I am no longer in that place, and the pain I feel is less and less as time goes on. I have learned to submit those things to God and not carry them like unwanted baggage like I used to. But it still remains. There is no release for the scars.

Worry and doubt begin to make my throat tighten and my stomach turns as I hear news of what MIGHT be. Or I see a place that reminds me of a painful situation. I am thankful for the full knowledge of God's forgiveness and healing. I pray each day that God will give me greater acceptance of that reality. I heard some news this morning that began to send me to one of those undesirable places. Then, in a moment, I realized that it was outside my control and that God has a firm grip on my circumstances. So, today is going to be a glorious day...despite my scars.

I Once Was Lost...

2010-05-04T06:16:00.003-06:00

"I once was lost, but now am found..." I love that old hymn (yes I did say old). While I was not lost in spirit, I felt lost in direction. I spent the last two years in the desert, or so it seemed. It is amazing to me how hindsight is so much better. Is there anyway we can have hindsight before the foresight? I just need things to make sense. These last two years did not make any sense to me...until now. All the junk I dealt with over the last two years has prepared me, both spiritually and emotionally, to move into this tremendous arena of life and ministry. However, had I known it ahead of time it would not nearly have had the effect it does today.

The key to dealing with things we don't understand is simple; quit trying to understand. God is a debtor to no man (as one of my friends loves to remind me) and he doesn't have to explain anything to us. And if he did, what good would it do us? We would move along with the knowledge of how things would turn out and no faith would be required. "Check your brain at the door" is a common phrase that would apply here. We would live in stupid simpleness and never have to strive or trust for anything. There is no growth there.

We don't like the not knowing. I have said it a hundred times over the last two years. "If I could only see where this is going I would be ok". That is a retarded statement and an ignorant one. If I had known where this was all leading I would have ignored the process of stretching and growing before me. I would never had arrived at the place I am now with the development I now possess. Faith is required of a Jesus follower and it is never utilized by people who have it all figured out. It is a sad thing for those that have so ordered their life that faith is never required. Because the bible says that without faith we cannot please God. We must learn to operate in the realm of the unknown so we can grow in the realm of the supernatural.

Jeez, I haven't written in a while and feel like I could go on and on. I think I will curtail this for now so that I can write again.

Instead

2009-04-26T17:14:00.002-06:00

I really want to write a long, drawn out, self-pitying blog. I am desperate to hear from God as to where he wants our family and we want to know now! But instead I just ask for you to intercede for us that we might hear and obey. I know his will is good and perfect. I just want to know I'm there.

RE: Are You Jealous?

2009-02-26T21:54:00.002-06:00

Oddly enough, immediately following my post, "Are You Jealous" I sat through 2 days of talk about being missional...some great, some good and some bad. I love the talk about being missional and how we reach our world with the Good News. I hate talk about becoming missional. My main gripe (and what I was trying to say in the last post) is that if we have to talk about becoming missional we are a little lost. My point being, missional is what Jesus commissioned us to be. It was the main point of being a disciple. It is not a new mind-set we have invented in the last several years. Being missional is being like Jesus.

I recognize the need to reach different people in different ways. It does not make one way missional and the other not. Either you are missional or you are not missional...regardless of the way you do it. If you are not a missional church you are not a church seeking the heart of Jesus. If you are not a missional church you are not an effective church. So, maybe you have lost your first love?

I am not trying to be cynical or anything. I just don't want to be confused or confuse others with the real issues. Missional is not a bad word. As a matter of fact it is a great word. But it is not new and it is not a specific method. Unless you call it the Jesus method. So, when we talk about becoming missional, lets talk about becoming authentic Christ followers who are seeking to be obedient to the call of Christ, and not about some new way of reaching people. I love you and I love Jesus (not necessarily in that order). May God bless you in your pursuit of obedience.

By the way, did you missional is not a word in the dictionary?

Are You Jealous?

2009-02-24T07:35:00.003-06:00

I'm a little confused about what it means to be missional. I hear this word thrown around today like it is new, created by the post-modern mind-set. I may be totally mistaken, but I have heard it described as a new way to reach people. That if we just meet people where they are and meld our lifestyle and theirs together we are somehow transferring Jesus by way of osmosis. I recognize this is narrow and there are many modes of explaining this. I think we are confusing issues...really.

Missional is not new. As a matter of fact it began with Jesus. We make things much more confusing than they need to be. Instead of talking about this method or that method, why don't we just do what Jesus told us to do. It has never changed...they way we are supposed to live and relate to people. It is us who have muddied the water with our own interpretation of how to live this command out. We suck at trying to interpret Jesus because we try to make it fit our own selfish desires and wants. We want it to be least inconvenient and the most comfortable. We will never get it until we are totally submissive to the will of God in our world; until we are ready to lay our own life down and take up His cross and follow Him. Not our own cross!

Missional means we go and meet people where they are. But we also don't leave them that way. We bring them to the foot of the cross and help them to learn from the Master. Missional is not new. It is a command as old as our faith. Missional is not just living with people. Missional is carrying Jesus everywhere you go and living the command He gave us. I understand that this goes against the grain of much of modern day evangelicals. And I believe that many modern day evangelicals have it right. We make too much of culture, relevance and post-modernism. They are factors to consider, but not the main focus of our endeavors. Jesus is the main point, not us and not are style of worship. I don't care how you do it as long as Jesus is the main point. Jesus is always relevant and Jesus is current in every culture.

So, can we stop all the divisive debate on what is right and what is wrong? If Jesus is the main point and people are entering the kingdom, why do you care how that is accomplished? Are you jealous?

Wrinkled Clothes

2009-02-23T12:13:00.004-06:00

"Will you check on the dryer? What's in there will wrinkle", my wife beckons to me. "Sure", I reply, "in just a moment". I have just walked through the door from work. I plod upstairs to change my clothes and go tinkle (its a long trip home!). Finally I make my way to the downstairs laundry room to find that the dryer has already stopped. Panicked, I open the dryer door to find the clothes stacked up and wrinkled. I rifle through them looking for my wives clothes, hoping that hers are less wrinkled. I recognize that my delay in reaching the dryer has caused all the clothes to be wrinkled. So, I process my options and begin to think in the man of the house mindset. You know the one that says, "I am man of the house and if you wanted to make sure it was done the way you wanted it, you should have taken care of it yourself!" Yeah! Men rejoice! In my manhood I make a male decision...to turn the dryer back on claiming that they were still damp. My hope is that some of those major wrinkles will fall right out in the tumbling. Fortunately, everything works out fine and I don't have to sleep with one eye open.

So, I think we are like this with God. God says, "I need you to check the dryer. Otherwise the clothes will wrinkle." Actually he doesn't say that because God doesn't really care whether we wear wrinkled clothes or not. When He says is, "I need you to be a friend to that lonely person", or "I need you to tell that person I love them", or , "I need you to feed that hungry person", or many other things. Too often our response is, "Sure, in just a moment". What we are really saying is, "Yes God, I want to obey, but there is something more pressing right now. I'll get to it as soon as I finish what I want to do." Never mind that people are wrinkling all over the place!

Thing is, delayed obedience is disobedience. God is like EF Hutton. When He speaks, people listen. But He is more than EF Hutton that we must do what He says, when He says it. Our life depends on it (and so does other lives). Otherwise we make extra work. Because if you let the clothes wrinkle in the dryer, you have to iron them. If you let things slide when God tells you to do them, you generally make things more difficult in the long run. If you are anything like me, you have wrinkled a lot of clothes. Thank God that He created the iron as well as the dryer. But your best bet is to just hang your clothes on the line to dry.

The Big Picture

2009-02-22T21:57:00.004-06:00

Time flies when your having fun, right? I'm not sure what this means exactly, or if it is at all accurate. Time has a way of distorting things, kinda like looking in one of those freaky mirrors at the carnival. It has been 8 months since we left the church in Hutchinson. We return this weekend for a conference and it seems, in some ways, like we never left and like we have been gone a lifetime. For those who we have serious heart connections it is like we never left. For all the places we have been and things we have done while here it seems like forever ago. It is not like those things are not important...just not as important as the people we connected with. It confirms my theory that nothing matters more than relationships...nothing.

When we left Hutchinson there were so many unknowns. And still many things are uncertain. God has not given us a big picture. But then, I don't need one. He made it very clear to me that it matters more that I remain obedient in today. As I walk with Him and do, each day, what he requires of me I have all the answers I need. I serve a God who cares about all my little stuff and junk and victories. I have found a depth of dependence I have never known.

For those of you who wonder, here is my path in an abbreviated version: I couldn't find a job, worked at Wal-Mart, was awarded a job I didn't deserve, served as a Chaplain in a state penitentiary, and now await orders for possibly another position as a Chaplain. I was selected to fill a temporary spot as a Chaplain when the permanent Chaplain was sent to Iraq. God has allowed me to develop a great repore with the men and staff. Now I have the opportunity to possibly move to another facility in the same capacity. It has been a good ride.

I hope to have internet access soon so that I can blog on a regular basis. I have not failed to continue to write. I have a notebook with many blogs I hope to post soon. My thoughts are simple...I don't know what God has in store and I'm good with that. I'm good with it because I know His plans are bigger and better than anything I could ever come up with. I'm good with it because He is a great big God who works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. My job is to love and obey. His is to work all things together for good. When I get those mixed up I really make a mess of things. I'm good with it because knowing the big picture doesn't require much faith.

If you are wondering what God's will is for you, stop. Yes, stop. Start asking what God's will is...not for you, for Him. Because when you know His will, that's for you. He wants us to jump in where He is working. We participate with Him where He is working. If we would worry less about what God has in store for us and be more concerned with being obedient in our daily stuff we would be a lot better off and alot more content. I miss you all and hope that I can become more regular. Don't write me and tell me to eat more fiber! I mean more regular in writing.

Am I Deaf?

2008-05-30T14:40:00.002-06:00

This will be the last post for a little while (probably no longer that it has normally been between posts). We are moving this weekend and will be away from the computer for a bit. We are still let with uncertainty about our future direction. God has either not made His will known to us or we aren't able to discern it. Ever been there? I wonder if I am deaf or God hasn't spoken. I pray that He is just waiting to clue us in. I don't like the alternative. Nevertheless, we continue to pray and listen. Pray with us, and we will covet your them. I have a lot to say and no time to say it. So, if you have my number feel free to give me a call I will tell you all about it. If you don't...wait for the update. I am certain that it will be coming soon.

A One Item Buffet

2008-05-21T17:33:00.005-06:00

I have been severely lashed by a good friend for the limited posting I have been accomplishing as of late. So, to satisfy his daily need for more of me (yeah right!) I am going to give you something.

Can you imagine what it would be like going to an all-you-can-eat buffet of your favorite food (for me it is Chinese), only to find that there is only one item available? You pick your plate, tongue dripping with anticipation, move to the first place...empty. Ok, you figure they are due for a refill. You move onto the next section...empty. You become a bit discouraged and wonder what the h e double hockey sticks is going on! You already paid, for crying out loud!!! You go the last section. There is food! Your stomach jumps with joy! You lift the lid to see what scrumptious delicacy awaits you...steamed white rice. Argh!!!! I LIKE FRIED RICE! How is this possible?

This is the dilemma I felt our family faced in our search for, "what next". We thought (probably more accurate would be, "I thought". My wife was less anticipatory and more prayerful) that there would be a buffet of options available and we would get to pick and choose from our favorites. We stepped up to the first buffet cart...empty. We approached the second...empty. I was a little frustrated to say the least. I was expecting to only get fed, but to get my favorites in the process. But God gave us "steamed white rice".

We don't know exactly what God has in store for our near future. Heck, I don't know what God has in store for me tomorrow. But I know that God provided the "steamed rice". It is what He wants for me now. So, although it would not be my choice in the buffet line, I am going to have "steamed rice" and I am going to enjoy it. I have a peace like no other since I accepted the gift of "steamed rice" and recognized it for just that...a gift.

May you learn to accept your "steamed rice" items of life and learn to enjoy them.

Live Like You Were Dying

2008-05-07T08:41:00.006-06:00

It is amazing to me how fast time goes by. It has been over a month since I posted last. The time that has passed is gone and cannot be retrieved. Do you ever think of life that way? Do you ever stop and realize that the very moment you are in is a once in a lifetime moment? I have spent a lot of time thinking of this lately. We have resigned our church in Hutchinson and are moving to Wichita. We THINK that God wants us to plant a church there. Right now, we are going to work and try to be obedient in what we know. So many uncertainties. But I refuse to let life run me. There is so much that we miss because we fail to relish every moment. But our life is out of control. We work hard and make a living and, to be honest, enjoy very little of life. (At least in comparison to all the other stuff) You have heard the song, "Live like you were dying". I learned, through my cousin's death, that every day is a gift. And we are not certain how many days that will be. I want to live each to the fullest.
Do any of you feel the same way?

Time Flies

2008-04-03T12:04:00.005-06:00

The saying is true, "Time flies when you're having fun!" Only, I am not sure what I have been having is "fun". But time sure has been flying! I have been having serious dependence issues. For those of you who do not know, we resigned our church in early January. We heard the Lord speak clearly and tell us that it was time to move on. The problem is that He did not tell us where we were moving to! We had complete and total confidence that the Lord had a plan for our family. There was not an ounce of trepidation as we made our announcement. However, over the course of several months, God's will was not clear. We were certain that He had spoken, but it did not work out the way we anticipated. We knew God had spoken clearly and wondered why it did not occur the way we heard. One thing God taught me was that we were not the only ones involved in this transition. There were many other people who need to respond in obedience for God's plan to be fulfilled the way we heard it. My next question was, "If God knows all things, why did He convey this plan to us only to be unfulfilled due to anothers disobedience (that He knew would respond that way)?" We are not robots. God did not create us to be non-feeling animals. Everyone is given the opportunity to be obedient. And although He knew it, we all needed the chance to follow His leading.

I preached a message last week titled, "Responding to the Resurrection". It was a follow-up to the Easter message. In it, I categorized three responses that characters of the Bible had to the resurrection. One of them were the disciples on the road to Emmaus. I called this response group the "Confused". They were with Jesus and had heard his words. And they were with the others that Sunday morning when the women returned to tell them that Jesus was alive. They were those who Luke says did not believe the women because their words seemed like nonsense. So, they were walking home on this road and were pretty beat up over what had happened. They were trying to figure out just what was going on. They thought Jesus was the one that would set the Jews free. They were confused. The problem is not in Jesus' message. The problem is in their understanding. Their hopes did not meet with their expectations. They hoped that He would set them free. But their expectation was that it would be immediate and physical.

This is what we face today when God's will is not what we expect. Our hope does not meet with our expectation. What we hear from God may not look or feel like what we expect it to look or feel like. God's ways are not our ways. We cannot judge God by human standards. The bottom line is that we must remain faithful to walk daily with God, knowing that His hope and our expectation will remain perfectly in line as long as we stay together.

Our destination is pretty sure at this point. We feel called and the process is moving along. We hope to know something soon. I felt unsettled over the last week or so. It seemed that I was confused. A few days ago I sensed God encouraging me to release it fully, and then He would make it all fall into place. So, I spent some significant time in prayer and was able to truly release it. That evening I received confirmation and saw God do what He promised to do. It was amazing, life changing and faith building. May your road to be where God wants you be filled with obedience and faith.

The Value Placement

2008-02-15T14:21:00.007-06:00

Ok, so it has been eons since my last post. So, for all of you who actually read my blog (which may be no one) I sincerely apologize. Life has a way of forcing you into priorities. As you can guess, this has not been on the top of my list. I have to say that I feel great when I write. The bottom line is that I have to make the time to do it. Isn't that true about most things in life? If you place value on something you will put time and energy there. If, even for a moment, you don't place value you will not waste time and energy.

I wonder how much value we place on our relationship with Jesus? If what I said is true...and it is, you know...then just look at how much time and energy you spend with Him. I would guess that most people don't exert much energy developing their relationship with Jesus. The time they spend in the Word and in prayer is minimal to none. Which tells me that they place less value on their relationship with Him than, say, watching TV. I bet (not really...just a saying) that you spend more time watching TV than you do reading your Bible AND praying put together.

Let me just say, I have been there. I am not trying to make you feel smaller than Papa Smurf. I just want to encourage you to reevaluate your priorities. Make your relationship with Jesus more important than Law and Order, or American Idol. It takes perseverance and devotion. It takes time to create a habit. And sometimes that is what reading and praying is. When you don't feel like it and you are dry spiritually, let your habit take over and do it anyway. Isn't that what people do with cigarettes and alcohol and drugs? Some people want to quit, but the urge and desire for them outweigh their desire to quit. My prayer for you is that your urge and desire for Jesus would far outweigh your desire to quit. It is the best habit in the world to have. Best wishes on your journey!

Pondering Dryness

2007-12-09T06:36:00.001-06:00

Wow! Long time, huh? It has been a long while since I posted last. I have felt dry and without any comment, and so I didn't feel the need to bore you with nothingness. At least, that is my excuse. As I lay in bed this morning (wanting to sleep, but unable to do so), I pondered this thought. I tried to make sense of not writing, when this is something I love doing. Here are my conclusions. Maybe you can relate to some of these, or maybe it will help you through your dry times.

1. A dry time does not mean a lack of passion. I know that I am passionate about a lot of things. I know that I am passionate for God and His word. But I still have dry times; times I struggle in reading the Word and spending quality time with Him. It does not mean I love Him less or are less enthralled by the Word. There is something else at work. But it is not a lack of passion. I do not consider myself a great writer, but it is something I thoroughly enjoy and feel great when I do it. I feel a sense of freedom in writing that I don't feel in any other form of communication. It certainly has not been for lack of passion for writing.

2. I think I am a bit ADD. I am an all or nothing kind of person. I get hooked into something and I pour all my energy there. This is a blessing and curse. When my focus is something good, then I am doing great and wonderful things. But when my focus is on unhealthy things, then I am harmful to myself and those around me. No one can testify to this fact more than my wife. She has endured more "bunny trails" from me than she deserves. She asked me many times whether I think this is a good direction I'm heading. It usually takes me a little longer to see my erroneous ways than her, but eventually I come to my senses. I have been off on a "bunny trail" lately, I think. I have allowed things to consume my energy that were not necessarily bad, but it took away from what is good and great. Somehow I got to learn the art of balance.

3. I (along with the rest of the world) don't value the ordinary. I felt like I had nothing to say. That what was happening in my life was of no importance to myself or anyone else. We are consumed with the big stuff of life. We get caught up in the major events and times. That is why weddings, birth of a child and things like that are so significant. But we tend to place less emphasis on the everyday activities. It is as if they are insignificant. The reality is that every moment is significant. We are created by a perfect Creator God. Every moment of our life is a tremendous blessing and responsibility. There is not a second of our earthly life that doesn't matter. Every moment with our spouse, our children, the body, and others we don't know carries great importance. I often wonder if this is why the world sees us (Christians) as no different that they are. We go about life the same as they do. We go to work and treat it the same. We come home and sit in front of the TV the same as they do. We do Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with family the same as they do. We shop and accumulate wealth the same. The only difference is that we spend an hour on Sunday morning going to church...as if that redeems us and makes us distinct. We need to make our lives unique from the world in every facet of living. The way we work, the way we spend time with our family, the way we interact with others, the way we handle our resources...all of it should demonstrate our commitment and attachment to the Savior. In Acts, Paul and John were arrested for preaching the gospel. Thousands came to salvation from their preaching of the Word and they were arrested. The Bible says that the one thing the Pharisees took note of was that these men had been with Jesus. They knew the significance of their fellowship with the Savior. I wonder if our friends (and enemies) take note of the fact that we have been with Jesus. If that is true, then the entirety of our lives are in no way insignificant. Every moment is tremendously important.

So I say all this because it is my dilemma I have faced. I will continue to ponder these thoughts and make my to align with what God intends for me. I know that if I do that, I will spend my energy in the areas of my passions that God has given me and I will make a difference for time and eternity.

Duality

2007-10-10T05:25:00.000-06:00

For those of you who actually read my random thoughts, I apologize for the absence. I have been wrestling with something inside. A lot of what I have seen, heard and read lately have a common theme. And God's word has only emphasized this in me. I am struggling with the duality of my life. What I mean is that I am afraid that I am not putting all my eggs into Jesus' basket. There is a world of starving and dying people, there are poor and destitute homeless folks, there are the persecuted for their faith, and I am blessed with so much.

The difference between me and the child that just died in the last 3 seconds from starvation is location. Most of you would say, "Thank God"; and I do. I am extremely thankful for my situation. But I can't help but wonder if all of it is God's blessing or my unwillingness to really serve Him with all I have. Now, I am by no means in a great position. We struggle month to month. But the bottom line is that we have food, shelter, clothing and much more. As I look to Jesus I find myself severely lacking. Jesus himself was technically homeless...by choice. And I don't think that Jesus encourages us to be homeless. As a matter of fact, I think Jesus had a place to sleep most nights. There were generous folks that gave Him what He needed. What is all we have worth anyway? What do we need? Why are we so possessive? What do we want from this life?

Our culture in America is almost shameful. I almost puke when I hear people say that we are God's favorite. Or, that others depravity is a product of their sinfulness. I want you to ask yourself something. If you had two children and one was nicer than the other, would you starve the bad one to death? Of course not. But that is what some people are implying about God. I am privileged to be born in the United States. I have many opportunities that people in other places may not have. But to what end should my privilege be lived out? Should it not be for the glory of God and the sake of serving Him by serving others?

When I read Matthew 5, the Sermon on the Mount, I see Jesus encouraging the not so privileged of the world. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, those who are humble, those who seek justice, those who are merciful, those who have pure hearts, those who are peacemakers, those who are persecuted for doing right." A few of these really hit me hard. To be poor in spirit means that you lack in the spirit. Your soul is struggling. It's not that you are wicked, but that you seek God and all the answers are not there. Your faith has to carry you through and sometimes it is hard. And God's blessing is for the pure of heart, the humble folks who see others as more important than themselves. We say this a lot, but we don't really mean it. Because if we meant it, there would be no homeless and hungry people in the world. And peacemakers? Where are they? We talk about peace but we don't live it. And when was the last time you were persecuted for doing right?

Duality. Do you see what I mean? The difference between really living for God and just making due in a world that sees the divide between the two as acceptable. We don't give our all for God. We give what is left over; after our religious duties to church and family and friends and most of all work. We complain of being tired and worn out because we work so hard to make ends meet and yet the greatest end is not met. Why can't we live simpler and help others to do the same? Why can't we see others that are hurting and pull them alongside?

This is a long thought. I'll have to continue it onto another blog. This is my struggle. But it should be every ones struggle.

Do You Know What I Know?

2007-08-08T14:34:00.000-06:00

Life is sometimes messy and complicated and frustrating. Sometimes it is beautiful and orderly and peaceful. It is great to get a vacation. My family and I are experiencing a time away in Texas...deep Texas. After an 18 hour day to get here we have experienced a few hiccups and recognizing that things don't always go as planned. Different people have different views of vacation. I am content to relax and do nothing much. My family likes to go and do things. I understand that my children do not think an air conditioned room is considered a "fun" vacation. Anyway, it is good to be together. We are looking for some activities to occupy some time. After the wedding I am performing, we will head to San Antonio and Seaworld.

What I am contemplating is how some people readily accept the Gospel and enjoy the benefits of being a child of God and how others, knowing the truth, can refuse to enter into the fullness of Him. What I often wonder is whether those who have heard it and do not live it have fully understood, whether they are deceived in their thinking about what is required of them, or whether they are just plain being selfish and obstinate. Any way you cut it I am sad at the thought that anyone can hear the truth and be unaffected. I guess having been there and know what it means to be living for Jesus makes me long desperately for all my friends and relatives to experience the same. Yet, my life as a witness and my love, spoken and demonstrated, is what I have to offer. I pray that eyes will be opened and hearts tender to this life altering love I know. All the messiness and confusion of life is so much more acceptable when seen through the eyes of Jesus.

Accoustic and Accord

2007-08-04T07:50:00.000-06:00

For most of my life I have wanted to learn how to play the guitar. Not only was it a great sounding instrument, but it was a symbol of cool. I imagined myself sitting down just anywhere and strumming out a few chords and singing along with strangers in that place. And it certainly would be helpful for attracting chicks.

But life goes on and I am married to a beautiful and lovely wife with beautiful and lovely children; so the whole chick thing doesn't matter. And because of my past obsession with being liked and my transformation into my own person (the one God created me to be) the being cool scene is not for me. I still dream of just dropping down and strumming chords to a familiar tune and having people join in. I still have a great desire to learn how to play. So, I was given a guitar (that's right, given) by a great woman and son that are members of our church. So, I determined to start playing. I grabbed a chord chart from the internet and set out to learn them. I have been playing everyday since (don't get too excited...it has only been two weeks).

I thought about what it takes to learn how to play and how it fits into the model for genuine community, that I am so passionate about. Everything you do, learn to do, or desire to do, happens and performs best in community. Could I learn to play the guitar on my own? You bet. But my performance level would be sub-par and would take much longer than if someone was walking with me. So there is this guy, Jack, who is willing to help me learn. Now Jack is a great guy. He teaches guitar to kids and adults alike...for free. Yes, for free. He considers it his ministry. He fills his nights with teaching and his days with working. And he loves it. I respect that so much; when someone works so hard and is so satisfied because it is a joy to honor God.

Well, playing acoustic and having accord, or living in community, are much the same. We need people. I need help...don't we all? I could learn chords and strumming techniques, but I cannot really excel unless someone who already excels helps me down that path. Jack is not a member of our church...believe it or not. He is a kingdom minded individual. He is not concerned with this church or that church...he is concerned with people. We think a lot alike. People are more important than process, procedure and all the other p's. I haven't taken a lesson yet from Jack. But I am convinced that I will be a better guitar player because I do. Many people have not allowed themselves to enter authentic community. But I am certain that they will be better fellow sojourners because of it.

Catching Up

2007-07-30T13:29:00.000-06:00

I guess it is a good thing that I don't get paid to write this blog...cuz I would have been fired a long time ago. But, no worries. I have had an extremely busy summer and there seems to be some time missing in the rush. Getting some sense of normalcy is something I look forward to in the very near future. I look forward to a semi-schedule. I don't necessarily like schedules, but certain time to write, study, read and learn to play the guitar are high on my list.

This last weekend was our annual district conference for Kansas Wesleyans. It was a busy time because I got ordained and it was held here in Hutch. So, you can imagine we were pretty busy. A huge kudos to my wife, who worked her fingers to the bone to get stuff done and make sure things ran smoothly. GOOD JOB HONEY! So, now I am an official reverend! I tried to put it to good use. I asked my family to bow when I entered the room and kiss my hand when they bowed. But, it didn't work. They thought I had lost my mind! So, I get all the privileges of being an ordained minister in the Wesleyan Church (excluding the kissing of the hand and the bowing thing).

I thought I would share with you a cool thing that happened in our service two weeks ago. Due to confidentiality I won't share all the details. Anyway, I preached a sermon on the Masquerade. I talked about learning to be authentic and removing the masks we wear. We pretend to be something we are not so that others will see us a certain way. The crazy thing about wearing a mask is that we long to have people love us, respect us, accept us. But in putting on a show they never really know US. They learn to love, respect and accept the mask we present them with. Until we de-mask and be genuine we can never be real worshippers or be the person God created us to be. The response was phenomenal. People ripped off their masks and made public guilt and shame they had carried for years. It was a tremendous breakthrough toward health and authenticity.

My family and I are planning a much needed vacation. I can't wait for the opportunity to just relax and do the things I want to do. Pray that it will truly be a relaxing time. I have lots on my mind that I would like to share with you. I have some pretty deep stuff hanging out in my head, but now is not the time to unwrap it. So, hang on for more juicy stuff.

Missing Teeth

2007-07-05T08:05:00.000-06:00

I find it amusing the comparisons we make of ourselves sometimes. But despite the jeering, I'm gonna do it anyway. I feel like a gear that has a tooth missing. You know, a gear that spins around, meshes with another gear and makes something rotate...or something. But my gear has a tooth or two missing, so that when I mesh with that other gear there is a skip because of my missing tooth. I know, right now you are making jokes about my missing teeth (which is cute in children, but not adults) and the fact that my family hails from Arkansas (which you probably didn't know, but you do now). So just stop making jokes about redneck, inbred hillbillies!

Does anyone else ever feel like this? I mean, the missing tooth is no big deal until it comes time for that part of the gear to function. A single missing tooth in a clock could make it loose time. My missing tooth makes me loose my mind! I think all is well and it is just that the gear has moved past the missing tooth. Everything goes great until old toothless roles back around.

Some of you may be asking, "why not just replace the gear?" Which would be a great thing, only the gear is me! It is just a little part of me that seems to be broken. But of course, none of you have any broken parts, right?

Maybe this broken tooth is like Paul's thorn in the flesh. Maybe it is something we plead with God to remove, or fix, but God says, "No way...it is my strength that is made perfect in that weakness. It keeps you aware of your need for me." I hate to admit my failures. I even hate it more when others admit my failures. And I hate the thought of continuing to live with my failures. But I sure love the fact that God knows it and is using it for His glory and my good (sure glad something good is coming of it!).

I Want To Go Home

2007-06-21T10:10:00.000-06:00

Probably the most significant aspect to the journey is your passion, or focus. I have already stated that everyone is a sojourner. The difference is how we view the journey. Do we see this as a never-ending series of events, or do we see an end in sight? I think I mentioned that the journey begins and ends at home. Do you see yourself traveling home? If not, then you are deluded and probably not liking your journey much. It is true that traveling sucks sometimes. But, the end goal is to get home. You can't get home by sitting still. If you have resigned yourself to sit dormant in your current place, then your chance of making it home is pretty slim.

People are way too content with the world they live in. Our journey is one of work and purpose. But the passion of my heart is to get home. I want to arrive home with something to show for it, but home is my destination, nonetheless. We can travel together if you are heading to the same place. We can travel together if you are willing to walk and listen to me tell stories about my home. But we can't travel together if you are heading to a place other than my home. I have no desire to take a detour. Now, I may get lost along the way and miss my turn. Heck, I may travel the wrong road for a while before I get the right directions and get back on the right road (I am a guy, after all). But, I don't want to go the wrong way on purpose.

Take a look at your travel plans. Is home your ultimate destination? Are you traveling the road to get you there, or are you just faking it; thinking all roads will get there eventually? The stupid thing is that the path is clearly marked. All we have to do is pay attention and follow directions.

You Can't Pack Enough

2007-06-12T08:43:00.000-06:00

I can be so poor about being consistent in posting here. I guess my journey involves a lot of side trips and bunny trails. I get lost in activity of the day and priorities have told me that this blog is not as important as some of the other things I do. However, as I assess that thought, I think that my priorities are not correct. I think this blog is extremely important to me. It is one of my greatest passions. So, I have fallen into the trap of letting what I understand about others thoughts (whether it is correct or not, or even said or not) affect my decision making process. Mind you, no one has said, "Don't write on that blog page of yours". It is all about perception. Anyway, not even what I want to write about today.

Onward...
2) Every Sojourner Needs to Eat.
Typically, when my family travels, we take supplies with us. We stock up on snacks and drinks and food. We recognize that we cannot stop and eat out every meal, nor do we want to. And, until we get back home, we have to either have to eat what we brought, buy some more, or eat out. This is true about all our supplies. If we run out of shampoo or soap, we have to go and buy some more. Sometimes, the location in which we stay is gracious enough to supply some of those needed items.

My point is pretty simple. If we are on a journey, away from home, we don't have the luxury of our comfy home and amply provisions. I expect that when we get to heaven, we won't have any issues with running out of Q-tips. But on the journey, we are constantly finding ourselves coming up short. Some short-sighted religious folk might say you don't have enough faith. I say it strengthens your faith. When you run out of your pre-planned supplies, you are at the mercy of someone outside yourself. I mean, we pack a lunch, bring some money and for some reason, we end up staying longer than planned and we don't have money for dinner. That is what people are doing with their life-journey. They pack up all they think they need of church and church stuff, they bring all the memory verses they can find, and yet their journey will use it all up and they find themselves without the ability to feed themselves. This is when you are at the mercy of one outside yourself.

Now, we could talk about physical provision. But I think that everyone can relate to the fact that there are times we need help. But did you ever think about provision in the Spiritual sense? That all you have gathered of religion might not be enough? I promise that all the stuff you pack will NOT be enough. You will always find yourself at the mercy of someone besides your own self. You will find that God is necessary. A relationship with Jesus is a must. I find it interesting that when Jesus sent his disciples out, He told them not to take money, or extra clothing, or other provisions. He was forcing them to depend upon the generosity of others; which ultimately is depending upon the Provider of all things. Our dependency upon the Lord for provision in this journey is essential. You cannot pack enough stuff to get you through.

Who is the Traveler?

2007-05-24T16:51:00.000-06:00

Before I move on in the journey discussion, I need to digress (which some might suggest I am good at). Before I talk too much about the journey, I need to define who this is about. This is about a journey, which means that those on the journey are travelers or sojourners. There is a tremendously foolish thought (especially among the churched) that only certain types of people can become sojourners; that the only people on a journey are those in search of God's eternal truth. This is foolish; foolish for several reasons.

One is that the only qualities required of a sojourner are those inherent qualities that all people posses; whether they know it or not. Everyone is born with an innate sense of being a wanderer. We are all looking for something. Our sense of direction may be different, but we are all looking to go somewhere.

Another is that each persons path upon the journey is unique, and therefore the skills required of each person is unique. No two people walk the exact same footsteps. They may be similar and the anticipated destination may be the same, but the steps taken to get there are unique to each traveler.

But the most important distinction is that, regardless of schools of thought, everyone is a sojourner...everyone. This world is not a final destination for anyone...no one. There are only two possible destination; heaven and hell. You may be headed for the one and end up in the other, but how you sojourn will determine that. What you do while you are in this temporary stay (which is the definition of sojourn) will determine your eventual destination.

Everyone possesses the necessary skills and abilities to reach heaven, but not all will choose the narrow path that leads to life (I don't think it any coincidence that Jesus said "I am the way..."). Many will look at the road and decide on the wide and easy road (because they are lazy or afraid or misinformed) that leads them to destruction. For those who are willing to take the hard way, to travel the tough ground, to take no shortcuts, there is great reward at the final destination. That reminds me of "Pilgrim's Progress" by John Bunyan. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest you do it soon.

The bottom line is that all people are on a journey. So, let us not think that people who deny Christ, or refuse Christianity, or abhor church are not on this same journey with those who profess Christ as Savior and Lord. "There is no difference...all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God..." We are in this thing together, regardless of what path we choose. And until the Judge declares a verdict we have the option of changing direction (more on this later).

Now we can move on to continue the discussion of what a journey is all about.

The Journey Begins...and Ends

2007-05-22T12:42:00.000-06:00

During the time of Jeff's death, I began writing some thoughts in my journal. I thought I might share some of what I wrote.

I have been thinking about this life and the analogy (or reality) that it is a journey. While I am no expert on this subject (although life experiences have taught me much) I believe life is, in fact, a journey. So, to gain insight into this thing called journey would be helpful. My mind began to visualize a journey and wonder what it entails. My assumptions about a journey may not fit perfectly into your view of what a journey looks like. However, the pattern I have chosen to describe a journey, I believe, is universal to most any journey. I decided not to make metaphors of the many stops for snacks or the frequent potty breaks. Instead, I chose, what I feel, are facts about a journey. Like I said, I'm no expert, but I don't think you can argue with these (at least not about the reality of them. You may choose to argue my opinions of how they apply to our journey). I think, to make this approachable, I will not list everything all at once. So, here is the first thing that came to mind about a journey.

1) Every journey has a beginning and an end.
You start somewhere and you end somewhere. The starting and the ending may be the same location, but nevertheless, there is both. You cannot tarry forever. For those of us living on earth, it will someday end. You are not immortal and will not assume the upright position in your current body for all time. This being said, a question arises for me...where, exactly, does the journey begin? Is it at conception, at birth, at some form of spiritual rebirth, at the beginning of creation, or sometime in the infinite past? I guess it depends on how you approach it, and what your journey is all about. I guess if we see death as the end of the journey then birth might just be the beginning...but then again, maybe not.

My personal thoughts are that death is not the end of my journey...kinda. In a way, my journey continues beyond the grave to the presence of God. But in a way, it ends when I die. My journey of the Spirit is a part of and a continuation of my journey in the flesh (meaning, this body, not my carnal self). How I process stuff here is surely different than I will process it in His presence. There is much more I will know, and much less I have to worry about. The ending of my earthly journey, is more like passing a checkpoint. There will be no break in my spiritual journey. I will simply leave the junk of this world by the roadside as I enter the city limits of heaven.

As for the beginning? Do you really want me to go there? Before the creation of the world God knew me. So, in that sense, my journey began infinity ago. But I think there is something important we must remember about this journey...and this applies to the end as much as the beginning...that the time we spend journeying on the earth is the most important. All the rest is not worth considering (as it relates to this journey conversation). Why? Because the infinite past was not in your control, and eternity beyond death is unchangeable. What I mean is, what you do now, here, on the earth, in the flesh is what determines your eternal destination...the continuation of your journey. So, you reach a fork in the road at death...and the path you choose is the one you have already chosen. Your journey in eternity is fully dependent on your journey now. That is why we have to understand this journey, become competent (or at least honest) sojourners...so that we can make the most of our travels.

Wow! I broke this down to make it more approachable and consumable in one setting, but I have written nearly a chapter! More to come...stay tuned.

Why Not Obedience?

2007-05-18T14:22:00.000-06:00

It has been a while since I blogged. I really haven't had much to say. I have been pretty dry. Actually, I have said quite a bit, and maybe you didn't need to hear it all. I have processed much and struggled much. Life is full of complicated things; nothing is very easy. But, I have to say, in the struggle there is learning. I understand so much more about myself; my emotions and desires, my ambitions and how I approach decisions.

I realize that Jeff's influence on my life was substantial and that he demonstrated for me a lifestyle of obedience. And I wonder about the way things went down. I wonder if he had made other choices how things would have turned out. And then I think it a waste of time to wonder. It really doesn't matter. And to the best of his ability, he obeyed God. He had enough sense to hear God and to do what he heard God saying. I think that we too often don't hear God, let alone obey. Things are difficult and we are selfish and we are weak...and so we don't obey. The pressure of life scares us and we don't obey. We think we can supplement God's commands with our own understanding and wisdom, and we are partially obedient (which is disobedience). Jeff's obedience may have cost him his life...only God knows. But he was obedient, even to death. I am still challenged by this call to obedience. We hesitate and put off because we make a checklist of both good and bad, trying to see which one is weightier. We withhold decisions because we just can't make sense of them. All the while God has made a statement that is clear.

What is our problem? We are 'fraidy cats, we are selfish and the bottom line is that we don't trust God. If we truly trusted God we would simply do what He says to do. We have His word to tell us; we have the Spirit to tell us; we have other believers in community to tell us; and we just don't trust it. We don't trust that God cares for us more than the flowers of the fields and the birds of the air; to clothe us and feed us. We don't trust that His power is enough to move mountains in our life. So, in essence, we don't believe that God is who He says He is. And we don't believe that this life should be lived in sacrifice, storing up treasures in heaven, where it really matters. I want to walk without fear into the blazing furnace with the confidence of Shad, Mesh, and Abed..."If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:16-18)

Deep Waters

2007-05-06T07:18:00.000-06:00

As I sit here preparing for service this morning, I feel the urge to write. And as the storms build outside, I feel a storm within. The crashing wind and waves beat against my heart and soul. It is one of those moments alone that memories toss my boat, almost to the point of capsizing. And like the disciples I feel the water against my face and cry out. But in the midst of the storm I hear Jesus say, as He did to Peter, to come to Him. I hear Him cry out, "Do not be afraid". Fear is not something I recognize as welling up within me. However, I begin to recognize that the swirling waves are far to complicated to understand sometimes. Fear is mixed up with grief and pain. And just when I think I am sinking, I feel the strong hand of the Master reach down and pull me up. As we step into the boat I sense the wind and waves calming.

It reminds me of the time I tried to become a rescue swimmer in the Navy. I am not a great swimmer, but I can hold my own. The first major test was to swim like a mile or something. I figured I could do that. But when it was time, they put all 40 of us in the pool at the same time. We had to swim back and forth without touching the bottom. I don't know if you have ever swam in a pool with 40 frantic swimmers or not, but it caused the water to be disturbed. When I would try to take a breath I got a mouth full of water. Well...I made it about half way and took a huge gulp of water and I touched bottom. That was it...I was done...and I had to go home. There was no one to give me a hand. Had I been in the ocean I would have likely drown. I felt helpless to control the water around me...that is what this is like. But in the pool I could touch the bottom and stand up. This water is deep. In these waters there is no bottom and there is no ledge to swim to. No matter how well we swim, we won't make it. And I can't do this without help.

I would guess that I will have to feel His strong grip again; I will need to be pulled into the boat again. I guess I am simply comforted by the knowledge that He will do it again. The funny thing is that once I am next to Him and the wind and waves calm, I am more at peace than before. Because this is not the first time...and it won't be the last. But each time is better than the last. I praise God for His loving kindness to me. I honestly don't know how people survive without Him. Surely I would drown without Him.

Huh?

2007-04-30T15:46:00.000-06:00

I have a few moments and so I think I will say a few words. I made it through this horrific week. What a tiring and grinding week! The loss of Jeff was hard, and will be for some time. I am up against a decision and I would normally talk with him about it. I wish I could. But, as I said, I have made it through. So, as I prepared to return home on Saturday, I received a call that my brother had been shot. Yes, shot. I kinda freaked...in a weird sort of way. I was stunned and a little angry. Nevertheless, I jumped in the car with my mom and we traveled to KC. It looks as though he was very blessed and he will be just fine. But I have to tell ya, combined with the previous weeks events, I was washed out. Sleep is not what it used to be.

I am very much into people. I love people and like being around people. But right now I am feeling a little selfish. I guess you could put it that way. I really don't want anything from anyone...I just don't want to carry anyone right now. Is that selfish? I don't know. I just know that I am ready for a vacation. Like that is possible.

So, you all are thinking I have gone off the deep end. But I have not...not really. Just wanting some time to process. So, what am I talking to you for? C ya.

Normal?

2007-04-26T07:39:00.000-06:00

I really have nothing to say. But, if you know me, I'll say it anyway. Crazy, huh? It is funny that in my grief I have found some great stuff. I have been surrounded by other grieving people and it has been good. I kept thinking that we would drown in a sea of tears. But, somehow, there is a stream that flows and all the salty water gathers into a place of the unknown. Somehow, God has protected us. My heart is cracked, it seems, but not shattered. It has very little to do with Jeff's death. I love him and am grateful that he is experiencing only God knows what. I am thankful that his pain and illness is gone. And saying goodbye is hard, but not unbearable. Someone said that in time the pain would fade and only warmth would remain. I know all this stuff. I kinda get tired of hearing it sometimes, because I know all that already. I am not much into trite comments, even though they mean the best. What I know is that I have to learn to live the everyday without him. What was normal is normal no more. I have to learn to redefine normal. And I don't like the thought of that. How does this happen? Like I said, I know that I will see him again, I know that he is in a better place, I know that he is feeling no more pain, I know that I will live on and that I will feel better some day. It's the stinkin' process of getting there that I don't look forward to.

So, today, I bury my friend, my brother. And I don't want today to end, because I know that my process of redefining normal begins. So, those of you who are near me, please be patient with me. I may not want to work in this process sometimes. I may want to stay in the normal I know. There are so many in the same place I am. And they need me...and I need them. The good thing is that my God knows and understands. And He is not trying to shove platitudes down my throat. He is sitting here with me, His arm around me, most times not saying a word. I like that. I am ok with that. He knows the process I am entering into and He is ready to walk with me. I hope you are ready to walk with me as well.

Good and Faithful Servant

2007-04-25T06:39:00.000-06:00

This is the final picture taken of Jeff on Thursday. It is hard to believe that it was only 2 days later that he departed. I am thankful for the manner in which he lived to the end. A fighter and a lover. Today is the family time at the viewing and tomorrow is the funeral. Pray for the family...the final goodbyes are always hard. Thankfully we recognize that the shell that is before us is empty. But because we are still in the flesh, we miss what was. It really is selfish. Jeff has moved on to a dimension beyond our comprehension, while we remain in these decaying bag of bones. Man, I can't wait to go.

But I also realize something. I realize that Jeff had done all that God intended for him to do...and he did it well. For us, we are still wanting. There is still fruit for us to bear. Were it not so we would be in heaven also. What does your life contain? Can you say that you have given all to bear fruit? I want to come to the end of my life (regardless of when that may be) and know that I have faithfully bore the fruit my Father intended. I want to leave with no regrets, knowing that I am not perfect, but I am perfected in Jesus Christ that lives within me. I want to submit to the Vine and allow Him to have His way in my life. I want to give up all that is me, that I may be all His.

We talk about it a lot, but how far do we go to live it out? To what is our allegiance? We make decisions based on whether or not we can pay the bills and based on what is good for us. We consider things like schools for our children and houses for our families. I am not unrealistic. I recognize the silliness of putting ourselves in harms way with stupidity. But we don't take Jesus' words seriously that we should not worry about clothes, homes, food and all the rest. We seriously don't trust His words that God loves us more than the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. We don't believe that He will provide all these things. We tithe ten percent because we satisfy our guilt of giving and refuse to give so much that it hurts. C.S. Lewis said that Godly giving ought to take us to the place of true sacrifice in our giving. If it doesn't hurt, it ain't sacrifice and true offering.

So many things race through my mind, but the focal point is all out living for the kingdom of God. I will no longer be swayed by the allures of this world. I will allow nothing to hinder my journey home. And along the way, I will produce fruit while remaining in the vine. I want to hear, as I am certain Jeff has already heard, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

The Life of My Friend

2007-04-24T07:53:00.000-06:00

"Great is thy faithfulness...morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have need thy hand hath provided. Great is they faithfulness, Lord unto me." These words rang in my head this morning as I prayed to God. I recognize His faithfulness and provision above all else. Some of you may know; but for those who do not, my brother, friend and closest spiritual counselor left this world to be with Jesus on Saturday. I have wanted to post many times over the last several days, but the opportunities escaped me. I will miss him. He was many things to me. But my joy for him is great.
I thought this morning, as I showered, that I am reassured that there is life after death. Certainly I believe that Jeff is alive and well in heaven. But there is life after death for those of us who remain. For life does not consist in the flesh and blood and mortal bodies of this world; rather, life consists in existence of our soul. Those of us who remain to toil a while longer on this earth must live. We have no choice but to live. The question is, how? My goal is to live now, as I would live then. There is nothing of this place that is worthy of my devotion as much as honoring my King. Whatever I do, I want it to be a service to my Master.
Jeff was a consummate servant. He lived well and died well. I have often reflected on my desire to be like him. Since childhood I adored him. There was some charismatic quality about him. He was my hero. I recognize now that it was Jesus in him that made it so. But his devotion to Jesus was lived out before men that all might see what it was like. Someone said the other day, "I always thought that I was the special one in Jeff's life. He made me feel like I was number one. That was, until others were telling the same story." Jeff lived in a way that all were made to feel like they were number one. There was no regrets and no complaining, even as Jeff entered the last days of his life. He never said, "I wish", or "why me?" He simply continued to walk in humble obedience. I recognized that even now, he has taught me not only how to live, but how to die. Until his final day he was living Jesus out before me. Thank you Jeff, and thank you Jesus.
I recount some of this for you to say that I want my life to be like that. I don't want it for me, but for others, and for God. I want to significantly impact this world for the Kingdom. I want to lay down my life for others. I encourage you, though you may have never met Jeff, to live every moment for the glory of God. There is nothing worthy of compromise when it comes to your soul. Really, Jeff's death only makes me long for heaven more. I wonder what it is like and I can't wait to find out.
My youngest daughter, after Jeff's death on Saturday, came into the house to find my wife and I. The mortuary had just arrived to remove the body. She is a very tender child. She jumped into my wife's arms and looked into my eyes and began to weep. She said, "Your best friend died", as she sobbed. It was a tender moment. All I could say was, "Yes. I have lost my best friend."

Bats and Balls

2007-04-16T20:12:00.000-06:00

Two posts in a day! What is going on here? I had a great ah-hah moment, and I cannot pass up the opportunity to write about it. My cous' Jeff was sitting outside watching the family play baseball. Now, his balance is off and it is difficult to stand, let alone walk. But Jeff insisted that he use his walker to jump out and take his swing with the bat. So, while I held him from behind, he made an effort to swing the stick. His reactions are way slowed and he couldn't get the bat on the ball. I heard one of the kids calling out the strikes...but once we passed 3 we quit counting. His youngest son moved closer and closer to give him a better shot at hitting the ball. After too many swings to count, Jeff made contact and the ball rolled a few feet. And it hit me. (the thought, not the ball)

How many times in life do we count out balls and strikes against folks...folks that are weak, hurt, sick of soul and unstable? We hand them the bat, encourage them to take a big swing, but after they swing and miss three times we count them out. We say that they had their chances; how many chances do they need? Unfortunately, we think that everyone plays ball like us. We assume that they know about the 3 strike rule. So, they shouldn't be surprised when, after their swings and misses, we call them out. And maybe too many churches play by these rules...and maybe that is why people are running from, instead of running to, the church.

Why can't we toss the rules and just play to have fun? Why can't we see that their strength is waning and their focus and balance is off? What people need is for us to just hang on to them while they take their swings. And when they miss, we stay beside them, doing all we can to make it easier for them to make contact; and if it takes 100 strikes, that's what they get. Why are we so stinking rigid?

Here is the best part...When Jeff did make contact, I was holding his arm while he held the walker, and ran the bases (which were made up and flexible) as fast as he could move (which was not very fast). And the rest of the family stood and cheered him as he rounded the bags. There wasn't anyone running to tag him out; there wasn't anyone saying, "you missed second"; there wasn't anyone telling him to speed up or slow down; they just cheered. He made it to home and was safe. I wonder if the church is failing. I wonder if people are being chased down instead of being cheered on. I wonder if the church is too busy marking the foul lines to play a fun game of pick up ball. I just wonder if people feel free to swing, miss, get a tiny hit and still make it all the way home while being cheered?

Kingdom Minded

2007-04-16T08:13:00.000-06:00

I have heard many people, including myself talk about being "kingdom minded". So, naturally, if you know me at all, I have to ask what that means. What does it mean to be kingdom minded? At the core it means to live with a mind focused on the kingdom. Now, I would consider many, many people who think about the kingdom. But that is not what I think it means. Just like many people can think about being faithful to your spouse, it is of little use unless you actually live it out. The problem with our modern, western churches is that we are full of hot air! Yea, I said it! We are full of talk, but do a poor job of living it out.

My cousin, Jeff, who is dying of brain cancer had a great take on this. While sitting with him on the beach in Florida several weeks ago, I mentioned that I would like to write a book. I don't know why I said it; but I think I really meant it. Jeff had been pretty non-responsive, kinda staring out at the sea. But when I said this he immediately focused his attention on me and plainly said, "Then do it. There are people who talk about things and people who do the things they talk about. There are too many talkers and not enough doers. Don't be a talker; write the book." And then he was lost again in the sea.

So, what does that have to do with being kingdom minded? Well, a mind that is set on the kingdom recognizing the reality of the kingdom. And if one can understand the reality of the kingdom it would force you to live within that reality. I believe that the kingdom of God is not just heaven in the sky, but the world we live in. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven in near you, within you, and at hand. So if, in fact, the kingdom is a reality in our lives today, we must understand the responsibility of such.

My point is this; being kingdom minded is not simply an act of the mind, but an act of the will. If you consider yourself kingdom minded and don't live a kingdom lifestyle, you are not truly kingdom minded. All our physical actions are precipitated by mind activity. It all begins in the mind. So, if you are truly kingdom minded, you will live a kingdom lifestyle. Doing and being are not separate. You do because you are. But you can never be by doing. Well...that is a whole other topic of discussion...but really all flows into the same river. I'll save that for later.

What is Relevant?

2007-04-11T14:29:00.000-06:00

I promised you I would return to the whole relevant church thing. I have to tell you that what I am uncovering is that most of what I have believed of church is not all that relevant. So much of what we do is extremely introverted. We have a building that is a gathering point. However, that building takes up a huge chunk of our revenue. I wonder how relevant this building is? If what we believe is true, that the people are the church, then how critically important is a building? Why can't a spot under the overpass or any other spot be a place to rally? I don't know if we will ever truly grasp the fullness of that, but the truth is, we have sunk ourselves into what makes people comfortable and entertained. Now, I can be as guilty as any, but all the stuff we need for worship is a trap. We have it, we need it, and we always need more. How relevant is that?

My thought is that people and relationships are relevant. A building and stuff is not relevant. Good music is not relevant, a nice building is not relevant. A community of loving, caring people is relevant; regardless of the place in history we find ourselves. I, personally want to live that out. I don't think I am there yet; but I hope I am moving in that direction. To relate to our culture, and the people that lie within that culture, we have to be more than a sub-culture. But church has become just that. We have created a group of people that are alike; that look alike, think alike and have a close economic standing. Regardless of popular belief, we do not do better when we are around people that are like us. We are comfortable that way, but we are never stretched. We are never forced to put ourselves in their shoes and love them just the way they are. It is easy to love those people that are like us.

What is relevant anyway?

Meaningless! Meaningless!

2007-04-02T13:52:00.000-06:00

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless"..."A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?" (Ecclesiastes 1:2, 2:24-25)
I know that I promised more on the relevant church...and there will be more to come. But I am a bit reflective today. I see clearly the words of Solomon and understand them in my soul for the first time. As I layed Jeff down for a nap after a minor seizure I stared out the window and God spoke these words to my heart. All of life is meaningless! We would do well to eat drink and find satisfaction in our work. Solomon is kicking to the curb all the meaningless toils of his existence...and rightly so. As death approaches my friend and brother, I wonder about this meaningless existence.

I guess the reality of these words ring in my heart. I don't despise my life or want to give up...I just see that there is so much wasted. What is not meaningless is feeling the sun on your face as you push your daughter in the swing; the touch of a gentle breeze that passes over you as you sit next to your mate and look at the stars; the feel of cold slipping under your gloves as you make angels in the snow; the warmth felt from giving to someone in need; the love felt as you weep on the floor before God.

All of these things are not meaningless. But so much of life is, indeed, meaningless. I wonder how our time with God and family stacks up against our time at work? Or how much money we spend on excess and self against what we spend on others? I guess I know I have wasted so much of my life and can never get it back. But I don't want to waste any more. Fear and doubt rob us of so much. I want to live outside of meaninglessness. Solomon knew firsthand about the meaninglessness of life. He had and did all his heart desired and nothing brought him meaning.

I find myself wondering what Jeff is thinking as he experiences all this change and the certainty of death. I wonder if he thinks about life and the meaning, or lack thereof. I know that he has done much and lives without regret. And I wonder if I could say the same. To those who read this meaningless message, I urge us all to get on our face before God and repent for our selfish and meaningless existence. I urge us to seek the will of God and live in His love and explore the grandness of being who He created us to be. Our meaning in a meaningless world is only found in nearness to Him.

This sounds pretty depressing, I bet. But really it is more freeing and joyful, to know the truth about living under His sovereignty and reign.

The Relevant Church

2007-03-28T07:47:00.000-06:00

Ok...I have been a little overwhelmed at how God is really working. I have met more people in the last two weeks than I have in a year. What I mean is that God has brought people into my sphere of influence like never before. I wonder if it has anything to do with the whole concept of love and acceptance. Our community (Hutch Wesleyan) has been pursuing this understanding of community in a big way. It is exciting to see how this whole thing looks when lived out. People are loving people, and demonstrating God's love. I think this is the most important aspect of kingdom living. When we passionately pursue Christ-likeness, we will do what Jesus did. I have seen these Christ followers come to aid of others who are in need. They have loved and welcomed in a manner I haven't seen before. It is beautiful.

I am reading "This Beautiful Mess" by Rick McKinley. He is a pastor in Portland Oregon. His view on kingdom living is refreshing. What he talks about makes me say, "Yeah! That's it! That is what I was trying to say all along!" As I was reading through it, I came to a section that stopped me cold. It was so simple and yet so profound. I had to stop reading the book. I could not move past this section until I really processed and digested these few paragraphs. Let me share them with you...

"A lot of people say that the church isn't reaching America because she's not relevant. It's as if the church doesn't look sexy enough and if we could just give her an extreme makeover, the culture around us would fall in love with her. 'Man, look at the church!' they'd exclaim. 'She's looking good.' In no time people would be camped outside like fans at a U2 concert, just waiting to nab the best seats.
"Sounds ludicrous, doesn't it? But we do it; we try so hard to be cool. We say we need to have relevant music, relevant programs, relevant parking...
"Of course, we're meant to communicate in an understandable way--I'm not saying we should try to be irrelevant. But relevance is a consequence of kingdom living, not a cause. We become relevant when we are committed to being that signpost of heaven in some part of our world. When we study Scripture, we find that relevance happens naturally when we choose to be real people caring for other real people. Even the real people who are not like us. Even the real people who don't hesitate to hate us."

And here is the phrase that stopped me cold...because I believe it and because I think it is the essential aspect to the church...we gotta know this to be a Christ community...

"Authentic relationships make us relevant."

Is that not the best statement you ever heard? So simple and yet so true. Living for Jesus is relational. We cannot do it apart from a relationship with Him and with others. Man, I could write for days on this...it really lights my fire. But, I want to chew on it some more. So, I'll write more at a later time...chew with me.

I'll Fly Away

2007-03-23T06:11:00.000-06:00

I had lunch with a friend this week and we talked a lot. We like to converse about stuff that most people never think about. So, it leads us into some pretty uncharted water sometimes. We ask questions and ponder. He told me that he was sitting around one night and popped in an old Gaither video. After he had watched all his stomach would take, he sat thinking. (For those Gaither fans, I apologize...but...different strokes for different folks) He pondered a thought: are all those people singing "I'll fly away" to escape? Are they simply ignoring the obvious and getting lost in song, not really facing their problems and issues? It was a great question.

I thought a moment. And I said that I think there is a fine line. A fine line between running TO God and running FROM our problems. I believe that many do both; they run from their problems into the loving and secure arms of God. But is that true of all? Or do some people hear the lofty words of the song and run into some euphoria that only masks what is really going on; only to step outside and be slapped in the face with it all again? Is it possible to know that God is our refuge and our shield and still not employ it? Because I think you can run to escape your problems; but they will catch up with you. Are people fooling themselves to think that they hype and hysteria of religion will magically fix all their messes?

I think there are many people who think just that. They continue to hide from the real issues and never know the security of God's protection. They run...for sure...but to what end? Not until they know the safety and peace of the citadels of God will they stop running. I guess we were wondering if people are being fake; acting like they trust God, but really they don't. I know it is true. I know because I have been there. I remember the days of losing myself in a crowd thinking that singing about God would get me closer to God. As if those songs were the avenue. But I know that not to be true unless it is approached with a heart that is truly believing in God's salvation. Now, when I sing and when I run, I have a clear destination in mind; and that place is warm and secure.

3-Bagger

2007-03-14T06:07:00.000-06:00

Anyone who knows about baseball knows that a 3-bagger (a triple, for those who are not baseball fans) is good. But I experienced another 3-bagger yesterday that was not so good. I picked up the dog poop in my back yard. I have a big dog that produces big poop. The problem is that I have not picked up the "mess" in a few months. I had plenty of excuses: first there was snow on the ground, then it was too cold, and too wet. Whatever...but yesterday I got it done. The weather was beautiful (73 and sunny, for those who still have snow in their yards) and I knew it needed to be done. I couldn't believe how much there was. It was the most I have ever picked up at one time - 3 Wal-Mart bags full! And guess what? I saw meaning in picking up poop.

I felt like this whole exercise is much like our walk with Jesus: we have to police the poop often, or it becomes a 3-bagger. That is how it came out in my head...but what I mean is that we all have "messes" that happen in our life. Many times, on a daily basis; sin and temptation that plagues us as humans living in this world. And if we don't keep our heart and conscious clean on daily basis, they becomes cluttered and messy. The next thing we know, we have a 3-bagger.

I know I could have chosen lots of other illustrations to explain the way sin clutters our life if not dealt with. But, there are two reasons I chose poop. First, I was picking up poop when this thought came to me. And second, I think poop most accurately represents the "messes" in our life. Sin has a way of leaving a pile in our backyard. If we don't police it (confess and repent) on a regular basis, we will have a place where people can no longer play because there are too many piles to step in. So, those people who say, "it ain't hurting nobody but me"...think again. There is no such sin as one that only affects you. Even our personal sin leaves a pile that someone might step in.

The thing is, I got the yard clean. But it took a long time and a lot of work. And, with all those piles, I likely missed some. If I keep to my normal routine of cleaning it at least once a week, I usually don't have any problems. So...pick up the poop regularly. Don't let your backyard become a place where people are afraid to walk because they might step in something. And it is much easier to deal with daily, than to wait until you have a 3-bagger.

Reality Idolized?

2007-03-09T06:37:00.000-06:00

I have to tell you, I hate reality shows. That being said, I have watched a few episodes of American Idol this year. It is my first encounter with this phenomena. And, I realize why I dislike these kind of shows. After last night, I realize why people watch. But I also know that since the viewing audience votes, it is clear that they know more about Desperate Housewives than they do about music appreciation. Clearly, even by the judges opinion, 2 better singers were ousted and 2 less vocalized singers remained. It is drama...pure and simply.

But I see the attraction. Nobodies from around the world at a shot for fame and fortune. People like Kelly Clarkson made it big from this platform. People identify with that. And so they live vicariously through these wannabes. We do the same with our children. We push them and encourage them to do something great...often times to live our so called un-successful lives through them. And since they get to vote, they are a part of success and failure of each of their adopted singers.

But I see this as a clear sign of a human race that is missing something. Sure, I may be over-exaggerating, but it's true. We are, first of all, not satisfied with anything. We are always wanting something bigger and better. And it is crazy to watch people humiliated on national television in order to get to the top. I mean, the name itself says you are selecting an "idol". The word has taken on less significance in our day, but God calls idols bad. You may say, "that is life", and I would agree. But I think it is an anomaly from what Jesus preached. I think Jesus would have won no popularity contests. Imagine a contest, where the winner gets to be beaten until bloody, spit on, ridiculed and nailed to a tree naked for all to gawk at until death? That, my friends is reality.

I just think that we have a messed up sense of self-awareness that began in the garden. When man realized he was naked he realized that he was missing something. All our life we strive to fill a part of our soul that is lacking. That striving leads us to want more, because the last thing just didn't do it. What we need is the very presence of God IN us...and that is enough.

I am not saying that people who love reality shows are going to hell...it is feeding a need that people want. But I think we ought to examine the reason it is so popular; all this hype to see who is the best. The best Was, Is, and Is to come. American Idol or Eternal I Am?

Signs of Life

2007-03-06T20:06:00.000-06:00

I live with three of the female persuasion (actually 4 if you count the dog). I am a man in the midst of hormones I don't understand. I used to think it crazy, but now I know how good it can be. So many ask me if I ever wanted a boy. I think I did...but I can't imagine boys now that I have two wonderful girls. However, there are things about living with girls that are frustrating to say the least. None of the manly stuff goes...all the rude noises that men make are not appropriate in this environment (but it doesn't stop me, though). I think the most frustrating thing is the hair. All three females in this house have long hair. There is hair everywhere! Hair on the sink, hair in the brushes, hair in the carpet, hair...hair...hair! But the difficult one is the hair in my clothes. I am forever picking hair off my clothes.

So, I have my youngest at the McDonald's tonight and I haven't been home in forever. It is the first moments I have had with her in many days. She is leaning against me as we wait, and I notice that her hair is magically transferring to my pullover. There are multiple strands weaving themselves into the fabric of my shirt. Now, I have come to understand that this is out of my control, but I spent the entire weekend pulling hair out of that pullover and now...well...dang!

Suddenly, it hit me. Instead of making a comment about her hair or pushing her away, I held her tighter. The thing I realized is that her hair, and all the others as well, are signs of life. They are daily reminders of the life, the beautiful life, I live with. I could not have accumulated the hair unless I had gotten close enough to touch. And so, I no longer see the hair as an inconvenience, but rather a incredible reminder of love. So, the hair on the sink, in the brushes, on the rug, are all signs of life all around me. The ones I love are leaving, however unknowing, their touch all through my life.

God did no less in so many ways. I could talk of nature, of the coming of Jesus and all meant to this world, or even the Bible that He preserved for all these years. But, it is the people that make the greatest impression upon me. Not that all the other is less...it is more...but the reality of living is that we must interact with people. And I wonder how much hair is clinging to your clothes?

God of the Bathroom

2007-03-05T08:39:00.000-06:00

I am sitting here in Destin, FL getting ready to head to the airport for a flight home. I reflect on the weekend and know that I will miss this place. I have tons of memories, feelings and emotions wrapped up to take home. And I wonder...why can't this be the norm? Why do we have to travel to Florida, surrounded by a terrible illness to experience life like this? When Jesus said He came to give life to the full, did he mean only on vacation? I think we have royally screwed up living. We have let so much get in the way of living life to the full. So, we get away, feel the release, look to make changes, and then jump right back into life as we know it. Do we think that is the only way to live? Most all have experienced this freedom, but can't maintain it. And, so, we are driven by the world. Let's just say it...we get carnal. We let money, pride, people and whatever else step in and divert our walk. Oh, it doesn't always seem so dramatic, but it is there. It is in fact an eclipse...either in part or in whole.

The church is not immune either. I was in the shower this morning when this thought hit me. I don't know why, but whether in the shower or sitting on the throne, I have some great insights; as if God is more holy in the bathroom. Nevertheless, I was thinking about how the church (in general) has adhered to a western mentality of capitalism. We talk a lot about casting vision and setting goals. And having been a manager in the business world for 12 years, it is all the same.

Vision; what is vision? I have heard, and even said it myself, that without vision the people perish. And have used that to say that we must cast vision for the church to survive. This is my great insight this morning...what is vision? Did the writer of Proverbs having vision casting in mind? I really doubt it. I think he was more talking about keeping your eye on the prize. Read the whole context..."Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, but happy is he who keeps the law." Do you think he was saying that we must cast a vision for the church or the people will leave? We, in my opinion, are too focused on what we want the church to become than getting busy making the church what it should be today. If we spent as much effort and energy on loving people as we do on creating vision, we would see a great harvest.

And what of goals? I don't remember Jesus calling a goals setting meeting among the apostles, reviewing those goals and evaluating their progress. Now, I am not bashing this process, but the process has become the point. And the point is not goal setting, but the Gospel, loving God and your neighbor. If goals don't make you love, they are pretty crappy goals if you ask me.

Can't we just get learn to love like Jesus? Why do we have to make it so complicated?

Lunatic Eclipse

2007-03-04T15:39:00.000-06:00

I am a big fan of the solar system. Saying that, I know very little about it. I can point out the big dipper, but who can't? But to me it is fascinating. Last night was a lunar eclipse. Did you know that? Like most out of touch people, I had no idea. But, fortunately, my friend is a photographer and much more intelligent than I am. I was able to see the last portion of it. Cool stuff, really.

The basic concept of what occurs is so very fascinating. A lunar eclipse is when the earth steps between the sun and the moon. Now, I do know, the light from the moon is a reflection of the sun's light. I scratch my head, and you know what's coming. A clear revelation.

We have often been compared to the moon, having no light of our own, only reflecting the light of the Son. Like the moon, we are a desolate place apart from the Son. Jesus said that He is the light of the world, and we are the light of the world. But our light is illumination and His is luminous. His light is fully His own, while ours is a manifestation of His. We can produce no light on our own.

All this to say, the reason we don't shine is because the world gets in between us and the source of our light. So, instead of a lunar eclipse I call it a lunatic eclipse. When we allow that to happen we become shaded, in whole or in part. We cannot escape the world; as a matter of fact we must engage it. Jesus prayed that we would not be taken out of the world. We belong here...not forever, but for a time. And while we are here we are to reflect. We have a real problem with hiding behind the world. Notice that our place is where we can see the Son, receive His rays, and reflect that light onto a desperate and hurting world. The nights are very dark apart from the moon. So the darkness is dense when we do not cast the light of Jesus into this place.

May we quit letting the world get in the way. I could say so much more, but, I'll save it for a book or something.

Things to know when walking the beach...

2007-03-03T16:47:00.000-06:00

This is not some great theological knowledge about how to live happier or be a better person, or something like that. It is true that I found some profound insight in these silly examples; but they really are finding truth in the midst of the humorous.

1) Watch where you are going - I found that while I walked along the water line, as long as my head was up I stayed dry. But most of the time I was looking down scouting for cool shells. When my head was down, and as the water rushed in and washed out, I tended to drift further toward the water. Before I knew it the cold water had splashed up my leg to my shorts...did I mention that the water was cold? Simply put, watch out that you don't drift toward the cold water!

2) Assess the risk - I noticed, watching the waves, that the coolest looking shells were located at the edge of the water line. As the waves came in I could see them being stirred up and pushed toward me. But suddenly the water would rush out and take the shells further away from me. The shells never were completely out of the water. I really wanted to grab some. However, I contemplated whether I could grab them before another wave would crash over them...and me! I stood for several minutes trying to time the waves, only to conclude that there was no timing. I weighed the option of getting wet, which would have been OK if I was in my swimsuit. But I finally decided that the risk was not worth the reward. The shells really didn't mean that much to me.

3) All that glitters is not gold - My search for the coolest shells almost turned to obsession...until...well. I was looking for awesome colors and shapes. I came upon one with unusual shape and color. I was so excited and thought that I had found the perfect shell. I reached down and grabbed it...only to have it squish between my fingers. If you didn't know, seagulls are everywhere on the beach looking for food. And as you know, food has to be digested and the...uh...waste has to be disposed of. A tip for shell searcher: look closely before grabbing anything!

Is there any spiritual relevance in any of this? If you know me at all you know that I can find some relevance in pocket lint...so, yes, there is.

1) Don't allow yourself to get your eye off the way. Remember, it is a narrow path we must travel and drifting is dangerous.

2) The prize offered to the faithful is worth the risk. Hold nothing back when it comes to pursuing the kingdom. However, there are other things (things of this world) are a waste of time and effort. They offer nothing of eternal value.

3) Well...just don't touch poop! No, really...there are a lot of things that look good that stink and are just nasty when you finally get a hold of it. We work hard to get things. But what you will find is that when you have them they don't do much for you. You end up searching for more poop.

Happy hunting!

Waves and the Deep

2007-03-03T08:16:00.000-06:00

I concur with the Psalmist when he said, "Where can I go that you are not there?" After a night that brought a difficult moment, I prayed that we would be able to continue to enjoy this gift without fear; to not be weighed down by the events of last night. I entered the bed at nearly one in the morning and arose at 6:45. Not much sleep...but it can be such a waste of time. Who needs sleep when you have the presence of God all around you? I don't know what it was, but I layed awake listening to the breaking of the waves and thanking God. Then I arose to the sun breaching the eastern sky and seeing the gentleness of the waves crashing against the shore line. And once again, I was amazed. I realized that God had created in me a newness...again. He washed out the old and flooded me with His mercy. I recognized afresh, this morning, what it means when it says, "His mercies are new every morning". Mercy to calm a turbulent spirit, mercy to grant hope in uncertainty, mercy to see more of His beauty in every little thing, mercy to know that this is nothing compared to His glorious presence.

I sit here watching the ocean and wonder about it. From afar, the ocean looks pretty peaceful. But against the shore the waves break and crash. And I wonder about that. I was in the Navy and know that the ocean can be pretty hellish. But at this moment I wonder. I can't see what is happening beyond the shore and beneath the sea. All I can see is what is before me. I wonder if we sometimes we get too fascinated with the sea beyond and never notice the waves crashing before us? The water and waves are all part of that beautiful and mystical ocean. They are just the part that reaches out to the place where we reside. I wonder if we forget that day by day God is reaching out to us with His love and beauty, His kingdom on earth, and all we can focus on is the water beyond the horizon? While we have breath we must exist on the beach...far from the deepness of the ocean. I am talking about heaven, in case I lost you in all this rhetoric. We can stand amazed at the vastness and unknown that is beyond us. But we would be remiss to ignore the waves of life that slap us in the face and crash against our bodies. For they are all still waters of the deep that flow from God. May we live everyday knowing that whether in life or death, we are in the presence of the Almighty; the creator of the deep and the waves. To experience life knowing we are ever before Him. Let us not so long for heaven that we ignore the heaven in our midst. I can't help but rejoice...Hallelujah!!!! Praise be to God in the highest!!!! Glory and honor and praise to the King!!!! Say it today...praise Him today...see Him in the waves around you. He is not absent. He is here.

P.S. This picture is another example of the beauty that is alone God's creation; that He chose to share with us. It is a sunset from last night, just before the seizure hit. What beauty, what glory.

Manifesting Beauty

2007-03-02T21:55:00.000-06:00

It is amazing how God brings truth in a moment...only to see it manifested soon after. The beauty of this place was upset this evening when Jeff had a seizure. Not to be disrespectful, but I almost had to laugh. God reveals to me that there is beauty in our junk...and suddenly comes the junk. And I saw something beautiful. In this terrible moment I saw a painting more beautiful than you will find in any gallery. His parents held him tight, his wife rubbed him, I prayed and a friend sang Jesus loves me (we laugh at it now...but it was awesome then). Expressions of love in the mess. And it passed. This lesson is powerful for our life of lesser consequence. In a moment a storm arises and crashes upon us...our feet sinking and the waves pushing and pulling. But there IS beauty in it...in the storm. Have you ever watched a storm? Seen the rain driving down, the lightning flashing across a night sky? That is an awesome sight. A God who is seen, not in the seizure, or in the flood, but in the creation of His making. And, like all things, it passes. And some of the most beautiful scenes are viewed after the storm has passed. And tomorrow will come, hopefully with all the fullness of today. May you find the beauty in your storm.

Beauty and the Beach

2007-03-02T16:52:00.000-06:00

Here it is! The Destin, FL beach just outside the doors of the house I am staying in. I arrived today to be with my cousin and his family for a last minute vacation. It is beautiful isn't it? I love the beach. There is some beauty of God's creation that is only found at the ocean front. I wanted desperately to jump into the waves. However, it took only moments to realize that I would not fulfill this desire today. Within seconds my feet went numb...literally. So, I splashed around until I couldn't stand it anymore. It was still beautiful. Isn't it funny how there is beauty even in those things that are hard to endure? Wow...that just came out!

And as I am here with my cousin I realize the same is true with life. There is beauty even in the difficult junk. Because God is still God and He is in it all. I am not saying he created the junk, but he created us and the beach and everything He created is beautiful. All this stuff is hard, but I realized yesterday that I found freedom in finally thanking Him for it. Don't get me wrong, I don't like what is happening with my cousin, but when I thanked Him, He showed me how He is in it all, and all the things He is doing in people and through people.

As I stood on the beach, just at the edge of the ebbing waves, I felt that really cool sensation. Anyone who has stood in that place knows what I am talking about. It is that sensation of the waves coming in and the waves going out under your feet at the same time. It feels like your feet are sinking a foot a second into the sand; all the while your balance is compromised. It is a feeling of being out of control and it is still a rush. To be honest, this is what life feels like to me. There are moments of feeling completely out of control, all the while standing in the beauty of God's creation. I feel like I am sinking deeply in the sand and yet, as I stand firm, the more I sink, the more secure I become. I know I probably don't make sense to you, but it is total clarity for me. I imagine that many times we feel pushed and pulled by the waves, sinking deeper by the second and all we can think about it getting out of the water. We just don't recognize the beauty that surrounds us. We, even in the most forceful of waves, are still encompassed by God's love, His beauty.

There is so much to learn in those torrid times. May we, when the day of evil comes, be able to stand our ground, and after we have done everything, to stand (Ephesians 6:13).

Journal - part 3

2007-02-23T22:44:00.000-06:00

Ok...here is the last entry I will post. I found out much about myself during this process. I hope that all can realize that questions and searching are a part of processing our emotions and understanding of who God is. I came to find more of God and his incomprehensible grace through this searching. May you question the unknown and be settled when faith is all you find...for His grace is sufficient...faith is enough...even when we want answers.

February 15th
It's amazing how simply writing and talking through my thoughts has helped me cope. I know that I can't change this reality. I have no power to control this illness. I can only trust God and obey Him. I can demonstrate the same love to Jeff that I always have. Although his response may be significantly different, I have to believe he still recognizes it. His lack of response is a lesson for me (and for all) that our love cannot hinge on another's reciprocation. That's not the way it works. It has to be selfless love - expecting nothing in return. I never thought of it as selfish, but there must have been a little pain related to his lack of response. I can say that I know how Jesus must have felt (to a very minor degree); to offer His very life and yet have people turn aside as if He never existed. At first it made me want to not try anymore. But now I know that I must love him all the more. Surely, he knows - and surely in heaven he will understand it all. I am not afraid - I will persevere.

Journal - part 2

2007-02-23T12:50:00.000-06:00

February 14th
How do you express the inexpressible? A struggle to flesh out what you can't put a finger on? A war seems to rage within. I feel the opposing forces clashing and the heat of the battle is felt. It is not fear; not uncertainty; not doubt or faithlessness. Maybe its loss - I'm not sure. I want to express myself but I'm not sure how. I am not sure I need comfort or sympathy - but who knows? God, I'm certain knows. That is for sure - He recognizes what is going on and is not baffled by it all. He is the master of the inexpressible. I want so much to communicate deeply with Jeff. But he is either unwilling or unable. he stops, as if to formulate an answer, and then retreats to somewhere I cannot go. And then nothing. I am not angry; of this I am certain. But maybe sad. The progression of things takes its toll. How I wish I could take from him the pain. Not the physical pain, for there seems to be none; but the inner pain. Trust, God says, and I do. There is no doubt. But it is loss - yes, it has to be. Loss of what we know and have had. I do not even fear his death or what lies beyond. I just ache because I love him so much. I can go on; I will go on. But I grieve loss. That is normal and acceptable. Jesus wept at the loss of a loved one. We must grieve. I also cannot help but hurt for the family; his wife and children, brothers, mom and dad. He is my brother and I hurt. that's ok isn't it? I have not been here before. I call on you God to lead me down this path. Let me honor you in all this. Make me demonstrate your love to others. Help me to remember that this is not about me and what I need.

Journal - part 1

2007-02-23T12:20:00.000-06:00

This is difficult for me, but I want to share my journaling over a couple of days with you. These were the searching and revelation times dealing with the illness of my cousin.
February 12th
"The process of death is something we give little thought to until it is upon us. It is perplexing and frustrating. It is scary and helplessness. I wonder if we shouldn't take a different approach. Our whole life is a process of dying. The moment we are born we start down a path to death. Maybe we need to be realistic from the beginning. Maybe it would change everything. Maybe we would spend more time "living". I know all the pat Christian answers. But how do you explain death? How does a 40 year old man with a young family...how does his death serve a greater good? Only God knows...but it frustrates me that I don't! I trust God - implicitly. But it would be a lot easier to be able to understand some of this crap. The helpless feeling and the lack of understanding is what has me bound up on the inside (helpless, but not hopeless). I am angry, I think, and question, but do not despair. Maybe my view of life and death stinks. Maybe I should regard less of this life. Maybe I am too caught up in this world. Is that why I feel this way? Am I a doubter and faithless? I think not - but at this pint I can't even sort out my emotions. I must rest - I am worn and it grates even harder.

Learning to Love

2007-02-23T08:43:00.000-06:00

It has been a long time since I posted here. For those of you who actually ready my blog, I apologize. I have been in the midst of a pretty difficult personal situation. They say that you should journal those things...and I did. I just did not post them here. I was unsure about how to process it all and not sure if I was ready to lay it out before all of you. Some of you may be wondering what in the world I am talking about. So, here is my situation...My cousin is dying of brain cancer. My cousin and I have been brothers since a very early age. We have shared clothes and toys and even our hearts. He is very much near and dear to me. He has battled this tumor for over three years. It went into remission and then returned. We prayed and it seemed to disappear, only to grow in a different form and in a different location. Now it is progressing rapidly and the doctor has said months is the calculation of his life on earth.

You have to know that I struggled through the hurt of losing him. But I am not without hope. I am not despairing for the end. I am dealing with loss...loss of our deep and personal relationship. The cancer and medication has taken his personality. He is very non-responsive and seizures seem to zap his strength. I miss who he is...because I know he is still there.

I have been teaching on love and God is using this to teach me a valuable lesson. It is our responsibility to love others...We owe it to God to love others because He demonstrated His love for us. And that love cannot be dependent upon a response. We love to love and show God. If we love for any other reason we are being selfish.

I will write more...later.

Don't Suck

2007-01-24T07:04:00.000-06:00

I had the privilege to speak, once again, at Christian Challenge here in Hutch. Christian Challenge is a great ministry to college aged and young adults in the Hutch area. (BTW...check them out...along with videos of speakers...at http://www.hutchchallenge.com/) I love those guys (and gals). They are always fun to be around and I enjoy their energy. They have terrific music along with some pretty talented speakers (most of the time...lol). Before the night's activities began one of the leaders approached me with a message. He was given a message to give me by a popular pastor in town. The message was simply, "Don't suck". Now, before you feel offended by this comment, know that I was not. The pastor happens to be one of my best friends. As a matter of fact, it was a word of encouragement. Many of you may be perplexed and wondering how that could be considered encouragement. I will just tell you that friendships are unique and you may never understand this one. He is absolutely incredible as far as friends go. But I won't go on cuz he might read this and get a big head (and believe me, his head is big enough). Friends...I love 'em.

You know, to say "don't suck" really means that I need to do my best. And that is good advice for all of us. When we do what we do for God, we need to give our very best. Half, three-quarters, even 99% sucks when it comes to serving God. He wants it all, and the people we serve deserve it all. So, when you are serving God, in whatever capacity, please....don't suck!

I was privileged to also have the President (or whatever his title is) of the North American Missions Board from this district present that night. He also had something to say, although he said it to my friend and not me. He said, "He is pretty evangelistic for a Wesleyan". I hope that his knowledge of Wesleyan pastors is narrow; because I feel that Wesleyans are very evangelistic. But, again, I take it as a compliment. A Southern Baptist telling me I'm evangelistic...I guess I will take my bones where ever they get dug up.

Let It Snow!

2007-01-15T08:43:00.000-06:00

We cancelled church yesterday due to inclement weather. It was pretty nasty. It was raining ice so bad you couldn't keep the windshields clear. I was confronted by many different reactions to the closing. Some were relieved that they didn't have to get out. Others were upset that we didn't keep it open for those who would get out no matter what. What crossed my mind was not about who was more devoted, or why closing was such a big deal. The question was why. Why did people feel the way they did about the closing? Those that were relieved made it clear that they felt they would have to come if it were open. Those that were upset about the closing felt that way because they needed to have church.

But why? Worship is necessary and fellowship is a must. But our reason for them is the heart of the matter. Did any of those people feel they needed to be at church because they wanted to meet with God? Or was it because you just can't close church? Is it impossible to worship God outside of church? I hope that people explored the opportunity to worship God; outside of church. If we could get a grasp on loving and worshipping and fellowshipping outside the four walls of the church, we would revolutionize our faith. So, it may stretch us a bit...but...let it snow!

Sick to Death

2007-01-11T08:23:00.000-06:00

I have been battling some serious congestion over the last couple of days. It really stinks. I cough a lot and have a sore throat. But, like most men, I suffer through it and whine the whole way instead of doing something about it. The words of my wife ring in my ear, "Do something about it or quit complaining".

I have to tell you that there are many suffering illness in the Spirit who assume the male position. They have sick Spirits, but sit whining about it instead of doing something. And it is not like we don't have remedies. Just like I could go to the doctor or pick up some medicine, Christians could seek a Godly remedy by seeking the Great Physician and taking the medicine He prescribes. But...we would rather complain, wouldn't we? It is much easier to complain than to do something.

All of this has significant impact on me. I have a cousin that is battling a brain tumor. It has been three years since we found out. He has been through many treatments and even experienced two years free of the cancer. But recently, the tumor returned, and with a vengeance. I learned this morning that he had a seizure related to the tumor. I do not know all the specifics, except that it is soon to be fatal. Even the greatest doctors in all the world can't fix this.

But he is well in the Spirit. He is alive forever because Jesus is his savior. I am encouraged that his healing is coming...eternal healing. I am glad because I can't imagine this journey without the hope that the Great Physician provides.

My point is this...quit complaining about your spiritual illness and start doing something that provides healing. The remedy is ready and available...all you have to do is take it. It may be like caster oil going down, but healing will follow. What is keeping you from Spiritual wellness? Are you afraid of the medicine? "Do something about it, or quit complaining."

Fear Factor

2007-01-09T06:36:00.000-06:00

I sat in a hospital room yesterday with a man waiting to have major back surgery. Before I tell you what transpired, let me tell you about Mark. Mark is 4 months clean and sober. He came out of an addictive lifestyle at the age of 47. He is a brave and courageous man. I had the privilege to be with him when he decided to follow the narrow path. But Mark's lifestyle of many years led to a deteriorating back and now he sat here, waiting. Mark was very nervous and visibly scared. Others in the room were consoling him, "You will be fine", "God will see you through", and "Nothing bad will happen". Mark looked at me, knowing I would not feed him any bull crap. His eyes said, "Tell me the truth". I simply asked him, "what are you thinking?" He said that he was scared...that he might not wake up. I said, "Are you ok with that?" He looked at me for a moment and then smiled. He said, "Ya...I guess I am". His fear did not go away completely. But I sensed his release of the "what if I die" syndrome. He knew that heaven was his home.

I wondered about this event most of the day. The bible says that there is no fear in love, for true love casts out fear. So, does that mean that Mark (and let's be honest, the rest of us) don't know the true love of God when we are afraid? That is a bunch of malarkey from the pit. In the flesh we are not super human. Our flesh is what keeps us from so much. We fear, become afraid due to lack of faith...that is true. But it doesn't take a lot of faith (only a mustard seed) to move mountains. I believe fear is a part of living. We deal with the unknown and it is fearful. The key is to make sure it doesn't become a lifestyle, and that is doesn't affect your decision making. We have to work through fear...like Mark did. He could have got up, put on his clothes and walked out of the hospital and refused the operation...all because of his fear. But after wading through it, he realized that death had no hold on him.

We need to live in constant awareness of the "fear factor". We have to realize that our physical limitations bring fear of the unknown. But when the enemy brings this frontal assault, we need to battle back with whatever level of faith we have. The smallest speck can defeat the enemy. "I believe"...trumps "I'm afraid" every time.

My Life

2007-01-02T14:04:00.000-06:00

As a new year begins I want to share with you my life verse:

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." (Philippians 3:10-11)

It is my life verse because Paul stated previously that all he was and all he had he considers garbage compared to knowing Jesus Christ. He had reason to boast; he was a good Jew. But all that is worth losing just to know Christ. I fear that in this world we can be caught up in the patterns of this world. We conform to what is all around us. It is so easy to spend a day on yourself and forget why we are here. We can look at our life and say that it is good and reasonable; that we work hard and we are better than most. But Christ did not come and die for a good and reasonable lifestyle; He came that we might be holy.

So I want to know three things:

1) Christ - I want to know Him intimately, like He knows me. I want have the mind He has, see the way He sees, act the way He acts. He is my hero and I want to know Him; have a personal relationship with Him.

2) The power that raised Him from the dead - I want to know that great and awesome God that took Jesus from the grave to life. I want to know that power that is greater than death. I want to know that power that is limited by nothing; not my inconsistencies, not my failings, not my ignorance, not my sin.

3) The fellowship of sharing in His sufferings - I want to be like Paul when he said, "Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church." (Colossians 1:24)

And I want to be like Jesus:

1) In His death - I want to put myself in a place that I am willing to die for my brother. For the Bible says that true love is laying your life down. I want to know sacrifice in this way. I want to be willing to lay it all down so that others may rise to the kingdom of grace.

2) In His resurrection - The mystery of life after death is only mysterious in content. We don't really know all the specifics of what it will be like; but we know it will be. And we don't really know how, but we know it is. Somehow, I want to get there. Somehow, I want to reach the place of being resurrected to life eternal; to reach my home that was prepared for me before the creation of the world.

I want to live; to live like Jesus. His compassion and power are mine, should I choose to live this way. I know that when I face the Lord I will give account for all the wasted efforts and wasted time. But I want to live today and the rest of my life in such a way that I have no more waste. Is that possible? I don't know. What I do know is that I want my life to be focused on knowing Christ and serving others. The mystery of what comes next will have to remain that....a mystery.

Resolution

2006-12-29T08:00:00.000-06:00

What will the new year hold? So many people begin the new year with a resolution...something to start doing, something to stop doing, or something to do better. Why do we always wait until the new year to contemplate these things? What is so special about "New Years"? Is there some magical power or super special spell that adds strength to our pledge? Of course the answer is...NO! There is nothing special about this time except it brings reflection and determination.

Oh, that we would keep the fervor with which we first made the pledge. I consider that this would be well remembered by followers of Jesus Christ. Oh, that we would keep the fervor of service, love, compassion, kindness, and the like, with which we first made our pledge. Our God and Savior have not changed and our commitment to them should not wane either. Let us not pledge unto the Master that which we do not intend to keep. But let us be good servants in our duty to fulfill the commands we have been given. It is good to pledge anew; to refresh our devotion. But a constant refreshing never leads to development and maturity. We must learn to press on through the hard times and remember our pledge made from the beginning. We make resolutions...God makes covenants. We would do well to live in a covenant made that cannot be broken instead of resolving time and time again.

My resolution is to not keep making promises, but to fulfill the pledge I made from the beginning...To live my life...my entire life...for God.

Gloomy

2006-12-21T10:12:00.000-06:00

As I sit among the few faithful at a local coffee shop, I occupy a seat surrounded by windows. The Christmas lights light the framing of the large panes. It is a cool morning, but a beautiful one. As the sun begins its steady rise in the sky its rays reach me on this couch. The warmth feels good and I soak in the brightness. But soon, and very quickly the sun disappears behind rapid moving clouds. They cover the sun like a blanket and the warm rays are blocked. I can feel the coolness the lack of sun produces. It amazes me how quickly things can change. One second the sun is shining and then next it is behind the clouds.

Life is full of these transitions. Our fortune and welfare is one minute here and the next is gone. Just when we think we have a grasp things change...from warm sun to cold and dark clouds. Know what I mean? Sure you do...we have all experienced them. It takes our mood and drops it right into the toilet. I know you are waiting for some great words of wisdom about what to do...

The only words I have at this moment is that we need to realize just as quickly as the clouds gather the sun, the sun can break through. Things change quickly and the sun can come out as quick as it can be covered. Your dark moments of life can change as quick as they came. His mercies are new every morning...remember that.

Stinkin' Paper and Bows

2006-12-18T18:38:00.000-06:00

Can I just say that I HATE wrapping presents? I mean, really...we spend all this time to make the present all nice and pretty, only to have the person rip it to shreds in a matter of seconds. (Before you call me Scrooge, know that I am one who thinks making the bed is a waste since I will mess it up again in 18 hours.) Why can't we just hand the present over in the bag provided from the store of purchase? Instead we spend money and time to make something look pretty that gets destroyed.

Of course you know that I have found spiritual relevance in this. Think about all we do to dress up our life. We painstakingly spend time wrapping ourselves in nice looking paper and pretty bows so that others will enjoy the exterior of the package. But the real item of value is on the inside. All the decorations are quickly stripped away to get at what is on the inside. So too, we will be stripped of all the exterior wrapping so Christ can get to the really valuable thing. So we need to quit wasting time making ourselves up so that we look good on the outside, and start spending the time toward what the package contains. The wrapping paper is tossed out the very day the package is opened, but the thing of value remains. On the day we face the Master, he will toss out our wrapping and what is on the inside remains. Take care to make sure what remains is of value, and quit wasting time on what will be tossed out. Remember what Jesus said to the Pharisees about their exterior: "You are whitewashed tombs. The outside looks good but the inside is full of dead mens bones".

By the way...the Penny's and Dillard's bags work best...they are not transparent.

Drive-Thru Lifestyle

2006-12-15T16:43:00.000-06:00

Ok...so I had this great insightful thought this morning (And that used all my brain power and wiped me out for the rest of the day). I was sitting in McDonald's with a church member who had invited me. I just sat there watching all the people come to get more than a sausage mcmuffin and coffee. They came for community and fellowship. From the rugged to the revered; they gathered at this place to enjoy one another. Most of them were well along in age; retired or widowed, or just plain lonely. They come from miles around to gather at the arches. What a sight! It was truly amazing as my host pointed out and named the fellow patrons.

Suddenly, I happened to glance through the crowd and out the window. I noticed a line forming. The line was filled with cars waiting to use the drive-thru window. I thought to myself, "those folks are missing out". Because they were hurried, they missed the joy (I like that word) of seeing this mass of people congregate and fellowship. We too often have a drive-thru mentality with our life...especially during Christmas. We jump our horse and ride at break-neck speed across the countryside and never stop and notice the beauty of the countryside.

I often wonder how many people have been cheated of my presence and company? My prayer and hope is that we will slow down, look around, and bless someone. How are we every supposed to do the work of Christ when we are going so fast? Next time you go the Golden Arches, try the dinning room instead of the drive-thru.

Color Blind?

2006-12-15T07:10:00.000-06:00

I have often heard people say that there will be no color in heaven. And I know that they mean that race is not an issue to God. But the inference that God does not see color is preposterous. As I sit and watch the sun rise, I realize that God created color...all of them. The beautiful green of Spring, the oranges of Fall, the whites of winter...all of them. He also created all the colors of human beings. I believe that color is not an issue. But color is beauty. To say that God is color blind is...well...wrong. I believe that God sees every color; and He rejoices in them all. I don't know what our bodies will be like in heaven...maybe they will all be the same. But I really don't think so. It says we will have resurrected bodies. And I like to think that what makes us special today will be glorified and intensified in heaven.

Oh, and by the way...colors are brighter and more beautiful when viewed through the eyeglass of grace.

Pagan Worshippers

2006-12-13T06:42:00.000-06:00

Sometimes when I read the Bible I am caught by something I have never seen before. Have you ever had those moments? In preparation for a sermon about the wise men, I was captured by some things that I had never thought about. The Bible says that the Magi came from the east, following a star to find the King of the Jews in order to worship Him. We sing songs about three kings and three wise men. As I dug a little, I found that these men were not kings at all. They were actually priests of a pagan religion. They were astrologers who studied and worshipped the stars and the heavens. It is commonly believed that they come from the area of Babylon, where the Israelites were in captivity for 70 years.

But that is not the captivating thing. What stopped me was the tremendous devotion they had to come and worship the new born King. And I asked myself..."self, why did God choose to reveal His son to pagan religious folks. Were there no wise men in Jerusalem; or in Israel?" I was feeling curious because all the religious folks of the day were consulted as to the specifics of the birthing of the Messiah; King of the Jews. They knew the details. And yet, pagan priests traveled a great distance to worship, while the chosen people of this new King did not make a few mile trip to Bethlehem to do the same.

I just wonder if we are sometimes just like them...the religious folk of Jerusalem. Are we filled with knowledge about the Messiah and miss the coming of Him? Do we know what the Bible says, and yet fail to catch the most important thing? Are traditions and rules the base line, or are we open to the fresh wind the Spirit brings?

Now I don't know what the experience of the Magi ended up doing to them. I don't know if they believed and were saved. But what I do know is that when they entered the house where Jesus was, they fell to the ground and worshipped. I pray that we would be more like the pagan priests than the religious.

Out of the Banks

2006-12-07T06:52:00.000-06:00

The ministry is a place for the humble. While, by the worlds standards, I have no great successes to boast, there are many great spiritual victories I can claim. It is a wonderful thing to see people in the dark be led into the light, for bondage to evil to be broken, and love to be encountered for the first time. But the thrill of "victory" can sometimes become the "agony of defeat". This happens to people when they begin to claim for themselves what belongs to God. It is not a huge arrogance thing. It is a slow, simple process of not giving God all the glory and praise...and keeping some personal claim to the victory...as if we did something in and of ourselves.

I was thinking about this when the vision of a river came to mind. A river that runs is powerful and effective...as long as it stays within its banks. But once it breaches the barriers of where it should be, it becomes destructive. I recall a few years ago when it rained for what seemed like forever. It flooded everywhere there was water. So much was ruined and destroyed when the water exceeded the boundaries of its path. When people exceed the boundaries of their path of ministry, it too can become destructive.

I read in 2 Corinthians 12 where Paul tells of his desire to remain within the banks:

"I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows—was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say."

All of us should take a lesson from the forces of nature: remain within the proper parameters for which you were created.

Clutter

2006-12-06T15:43:00.000-06:00

It has been longer than normal for a post. But I have found myself deep in my own little world...sorting through junk. Remember digging through your grandparents attic or basement...sifting through boxes and shelves of stuff? Some would seem to be a treasure and we would prize it. But the majority of it was just garbage to us. I promised that I would not accumulate "junk" in my lifetime. If it was no longer needed I would get rid of it. What I have found is that I am not as good at getting stuff thrown out as I would have liked. It is amazing how much crap I have amassed in such a short time. I have yet to figure out whether it is because I have a problem letting things go, or whether I am just too lazy to sort through it. Either way...stuff piles up. Such is true about emotional and spiritual storage. Sometimes I stop and look at all the thoughts, patterns, and processes I have collected over the years. Some of it is stuff I see as precious and hold onto. Other stuff is just junk that needs to be thrown out. But due to either my inability to let go or my laziness, it is still there. Not a big deal...except that stuff sits around and collects dust and clutters up space. It takes up space that can be used for other stuff. But mostly, it just gets in the way.

So, I find myself trying to sort through the junk and get rid of all the out of date, broken and useless stuff. I find hurt feelings, torn relationships, unresolved conflict, harmful thoughts...all of which need to be tossed. Thing is...I need to do it more often. Stuff piles up...quickly...I want to keep a clutter free space. I pray that God will help me.

Bumpers

2006-12-02T09:39:00.000-06:00

I was driving home yesterday when a strange thought hit me...I mean strange...I noticed that most cars no longer have bumpers. They have molded plastic to look like a bumper, but gone are the days of the heavy duty metal barrier. As I looked at the bumper-less cars, they were all relatively new cars. I mean, even the big trucks and such were going bumper-less or semi-bumper-less. And what made me think was when I drove by an older car...heavy, big, and hugely bumpered. The car was in good shape, but lacked the pizazz of the newer models. But what I began to wonder is, why? Why the removal of the big, tough bumper? I mean, it would protect you from a tank impact...and who knows when that will happen?! I came to the conclusion that the bumper removal was for aesthetic reasons. So, that left me asking, is beauty more important than protection and safety? And what about us? Do we, as followers of Christ...are we more concerned with appearance than with what we were really created to do? We were made to love God, love man, and tell man about God and His love. What have we retooled in our life to look good, instead of being good?

Izods and Polos

2006-12-01T06:57:00.000-06:00

As you can see from my reading list, I am re-reading "Blue Like Jazz". I like this book very much...not because I think Donald Miller is a great theologian...but because he is transparent and honest with his journey, and he lets you be a part of it. I don't think many of us would be as open to let others step into our fairy tale world. We don't want people to see our baggage...that it is tattered and torn, ugly on the inside. We are afraid of what they will say...that maybe we aren't all we made ourselves out to be. So we keep faking it...hoping no one will find out.

I remember when I first started high school. The whole "preppie" thing was in. You know, the Izods and Polos with the sweater sleeves tied around your neck thing. Our family was not dirt poor, but we didn't have money to blow on "preppie" clothes. I managed to find some knock off brand of preppie clothing. It looked kinda the same...had a polo looking emblem...but not the real thing. I thought for sure that it would pass. It took no more than two seconds for my apparel to be ridiculed in the school arena. My attempt to imitate the real thing with a knock off was crushed in a matter of minutes.

I think this is what it is like when we try to pass a knock off faith before Christ. Only we ignore the criticism. Jesus says, "That is not the real thing", but we don't listen. The funny thing is that the world is saying the same thing..."that is not the real thing". Isn't funny how non-Christians can see that we are faking? And as long as we ignore it and keep wearing the imitation, we will never have influence.

I said all this because in the book it says this, "I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. That is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God." Isn't that the thing? We work so hard at looking right, but not being right. The church, in many respects, has missed it. We have said, "be holy", only what we mean is act holy. We have reduced holiness to behavior modification. When holiness is not about the hands, but about the heart. If we want to be like Jesus...holy...we have to quit trying to pass the knock off for the real thing. Put on Christ!

Computer "Junk"

2006-11-29T21:35:00.000-06:00

Technology is such a bonus...and a bummer. I spent several hours today trying to get my home computer fixed. I was on the phone with a help desk somewhere overseas for a LONG time and worked on getting the "junk" off of the hard drive. Computers are a magnet for collecting "junk". If you load a program you get "junk" attached to it. It is amazing how much "junk" has accumulated on that computer. It has slowed down its processing and messed up the function of some of the programs.

I can't help but think that our mind is much the same way. They say that a human brain is much more complex than a computer, and functions in some of the same ways. We have installed so many programs in our minds, over time, and accumulated all the "junk" that goes with it. It has slowed us down in our processing of truth and messed up our function as followers of Jesus. I think we need "clean up" of our hard drive. "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2), "Set your mind on things above, not the things of the earth" (Colossians 3:2), "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires" (Romans 8:5).

If the mind is the hard drive to our super computer, we need to be careful what we put in it. Your processing and function can be severely damaged by hidden "junk". Sometimes the best thing to do is to do a hard reset, clear all the "cookies" and refresh your mind. Many times the "junk" is hidden and can only be removed by removing the program.

The Choice to Choose

2006-11-27T15:13:00.000-06:00

A conversation with a friend surfaced a word worth exploring...choices. Yes, choices. We speak often of choices. But do we realize how choices work? We make choices of seemingly little consequence all the time...what to wear, what to eat, what to watch on t.v., etc. We give little thought to these choices...but do we realize that every choice is creating in our mind a method of evaluating...or better yet...exposing it. We make choices based upon what is already in us...our current worldview. If we choose something new or creative we are opening ourselves up to a broader perspective for future choices...which can be good or bad.

It is just that too many times we hear people say, "I (or you) need to make better choices". We assume that this is easily done and quickly changed. But the way we make choices is based upon what we know, what we feel and the whole of who we are. We don't just "change" in our method and mode of choice making. In order to make "better" choices, we have to change the way we view and approach things...the way we think about things. The fact that we spend more money on ourselves than we do on others is a demonstration of the fact that we are inwardly selfish. The fact that we are hesitant to give what little we have to those in need demonstrates that we value our own comfort above that of another. So, I guess, choice making is really valuation. We assign one thing value over another thing.

All this rambling...I guess what I am trying to say is that changing the choices we make is not as easy as we think. It requires a change of mind. Funny...I guess that's why the Bible says we need to have the mind of Christ; why we need to be transformed by the renewing of our mind...Because in order to make "good" decisions we have to have good decision making ability. And that only comes with the purity and wisdom of the Spirit of God.

Understanding Fishing

2006-11-26T14:35:00.000-06:00

I like to fish, but I am not a skilled fisherman. While my competitive side always wants to catch a fish, I can be content to sit and enjoy the laughing gills of the fish I didn't catch. I know practically nothing about fishing...really. I know you can put a worm on a hook...add some weight and a bobber...and hopefully catch an unsuspecting fish. But I went out fishing the other day with a great guy. We went lure fishing. It was cool and not typically a great day to fish (so they tell me). However, we casted and reeled. And two hours later we had caught 15 fish! I was so amazed! Suddenly the verse about becoming fishers of men leapt into my mind.

I realized a few things that day. I realized that fishing is not just a veterans sport. Too often we think that fishing for men is only for those who are seasoned veterans; ones who have years of experience under their belt and know all the "tricks". Understand that the reason they are considered veterans is because they have done it time and time again.

Second, I realized that sometimes you have to just cast your lure into the water; regardless of whether it seems to be a good fishing day. Just the same, we have to always be ready to cast out into the cold waters of the pond...because there is always a fish to catch.

Lastly, I realized that it is much better to fish with a friend than alone. If I had been alone, I would have given up after the first half-hour. We didn't catch anything until after that. Then, we reeled 'em in at a steady click. Community is critical. We have to have someone there to say, "Just a little longer". We enjoyed each others company and we shared in each others joy as we were catching fish. We were witnesses to each others catch...we couldn't tell each other the big fish story, because we were there together.

I think I am going to enjoy fishing a lot more from now on.

Jesus and Turkey

2006-11-24T08:43:00.000-06:00

As I sat eating my first turkey leftover sandwich last night, I had this weird thought. Is it possible to relate Christianity and Thanksgiving turkey? I think we can make an illustration out of just about anything...since God is the creator of it all...we can use it all to illustrate. Jesus did not fail to use modern practices and common items to make illustrations...whatever would get the point across.

So, turkey and Christianity? Sure! Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because I love the turkey. I especially like the skin when it first comes out of the oven...brown and crisp. Mmmm! I am not picky...I'll white meat and dark. I can eat it with gravy and without...or even covered with mashed potatoes. So, sitting there eating a turkey sandwich, I was thinking of the variety we have in our world. The differing views on culture and church. I like turkey sandwiches as leftovers...but some people make a turkey casserole. What we do with the leftover turkey is suited to our likes and wants. But, each one may like it different. Even those who like turkey sandwiches...some like mayonnaise, some mustard, some cheese and lettuce. There are so many personal preferences and touches. However, what doesn't change is that turkey is the main thing.

As we think of our journey, let me remind you that there are many ways we can consume Christianity. So many different preferences and likes and dislikes...and all can be acceptable. Just because I don't like turkey tetrazzini doesn't mean it is bad...it is someone elses favorite. What is important is that the turkey stays the focus...whatever we do, Jesus has to be the main ingredient. If what we make does not have Jesus as the main ingredient, then we no longer have Christianity. Let us enjoy our enjoy our preferences...as long as Christ is the main course.

A Broken Door?

2006-11-20T17:17:00.000-06:00

At Bible study the other night, a friend told the story of going to a hardware store and finding a sign on one of the doors that said, "Please use other door". She thought it odd that a hardware store, filled with fix it items, would have a broken door. She wondered if there were a spiritual application in there. Leave it to me to actually write one. I think there is more than one.

The first is that the church is filled with all the tools necessary to fix the "broken door", the brokenness of people's lives...but often times leaves it sitting on the shelf for someone else to pick up and use. It is sad to think of all the things we possess as the body of Christ to help a hurt and broken world...many that are rarely used. So, many come to the door, only to find that the people inside aren't willing to fix their own brokenness, let alone assist in repairing someone elses.

Second, most, if not all, of the employees of the hardware store are inept at fixing the door. They do not possess the necessary skills to make the door work right. How many churches are filled with people who are doing a job and don't the basics of fixing the door? How much discipleship is occurring so that people are equipped to address the brokenness that they face everyday?

I pray that we, as the body of Christ, will prepare ourselves with the love of Jesus to approach the hurting in ours and others lives. Let us not shy away from the task of putting a tool to the problem.

Experience or Encounter?

2006-11-18T14:44:00.000-06:00

A good friend relayed this information to me:

*The difference between having an experience and an encounter (according to Webster’s Dictionary)

Experience – act of living through an event; training and personal participation in knowledge skills; observation
Encounter – to meet in conflict; to meet with difficulty

"People don’t grow spiritually because they are experiencing church, worship, etc. yet not encountering Christ. In order for change to occur (or to have an encounter) there must be a conflict. - Until the pain of remaining the same exceeds the pain of change, there will be no change.”

I have wonder sometimes at the complacency that we, as a church, are experiencing. If the statement above is true (which I believe it is) then many churches are not encountering God. I see an experience as something you witness without it affecting you. An encounter is your participation with the living God. The largest growth for the kingdom is happening in cultures where following Jesus brings great persecution.

I know that in my personal life, it is only when I am faced with conflict that my faith is stretched, tested and grown. If we are not stretched, we are not growing. Simply going to church will not grow you as a believer. We must be active on the streets in order for our faith to make a difference. As long as we remain in our comfort zone, we...well...are comfortable. And no change occurs in the comfort zone. We are not inclined to feel the need to change. Consider for yourself, today, whether you are feeling safe and comfortable. If you are, I would bet that you are not where God wants you to be.

Now I Lay Me...

2006-11-16T20:43:00.000-06:00

Just a short note tonight. I just finished putting my children to bed. Every time I kiss them goodnight, I am overcome with tremendous love for them. I feel so proud and honored by them. When they tell me they love me it makes me want to melt. Matthew 7:11 says, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" So, if I feel this amount of affection for my children, imagine what God the Father feels for those who are His children. When you prepare to lay down at night, think about His overwhelming love for you. So much so, that He gave up His only Son, so that He could tuck you in at night!

Ever the Mystic

2006-11-15T11:17:00.000-06:00

I have been reading the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have heard much criticism of this book. Let me tell you that I find it absolutely rejuvenating. I can't say that I agree with all of Donald's thoughts and actions. What I can say is that he is being very real and transparent. I think why most people struggle with the book is because they see it as a theological perspective -- when what I believe he is doing is sharing a life's journey. He says a lot of things that most people won't admit or talk about. As a culture we need to be able to read a book like this and not be offended.

The chapter that gripped my heart the most is on worship. The focus is on our understanding of mystery. "I don't think there is any better worship than wonder." I have to agree. One very wise woman said to me that we have made the Christian life far too complicated. All the bells and whistles have become a smoke screen to the true message. I couldn't comprehend that until last night. It is so absolutely true. Anytime that anything even comes close to equaling our worship of God it is out of line.

Mr. Miller has so many profound thoughts on this that I could write for days. Maybe I will...just not in one sitting. I am trying not to cram too much into one post...it's hard. Let me just say this for now: sometimes our reasonable minds limit our ability to worship God. We need answers to everything. Who of us can even pretend to grasp the fullness of God? That person is a fake and a liar. Miller says that you cannot be a Christian without being a mystic. You have to believe in the mystery of God. We soooooooooo miss the mystery of God in church today. We have patterned our lives that we do not leave room for the mystery of God. When we feel the need to explain everything God is doing in our lives we cheapen His holiness. If He wanted us to know it, He would have told us.

Two quotes I want you to chew on and comment about:

"There are things you cannot understand, and you must learn to live with this. Not only must you learn to live with this, you must learn to enjoy this."

"At the end of the day, when I am lying in bed and I know the chances of any of our theology being exactly right are a million to one, I need to know that God has things figured out, that if my math is wrong we are still going to be okay."

Laughing Out Loud

2006-11-14T18:35:00.000-06:00

I know that I already posted today, but I HAD to put this up. There are two really cool things to say. First, my daughters auditioned for parts in the home school associations production of the Velveteen Rabbit. My oldest daughter got the part of the Velveteen Rabbit! Yahoo! And my youngest got the part of the Brown Rabbit. Yeehaw! For both of them it was their first choice. I am such a proud papa!

Ok, the other reason I'm posting tonight is really relational. I am looking for feedback because I KNOW that all of you can relate. I want to know the activity you feel the dumbest doing. As you may have guessed, I am writing because I experienced mine tonight. For me it is shopping at the grocery store. I went for some noodles and Nesquick. Oh, how really foolish I felt. I wandered the aisles only to find myself in the freezer section carrying nothing but a blank stare. I can only imagine the laughing that most of the women were doing inside. "Look at that guy. He doesn't have a clue." And they were right! I wandered back through the aisles, one at a time, looking for chocolate and noodles (great combination)! Finally I found the noodles. Only I couldn't find the one I wanted. OH the frustration! I looked around the aisle, as if someone might send me the answer telepathically. But, either theirs or my radar was off. I grabbed what I thought would work and headed out for the chocolate. As I went from aisle to aisle I saw many of the same people that I saw on the first round. I am sure they were looking at me and chuckling on the inside. Finally, 20 minutes later, I found what I was looking for. As I grabbed up the bottle of chocolate and turned to face the crowd, I sensed again their inner laughter. So, in an attempt to relieve my own frustration and embarrassment, I just laughed out loud. I'm not sure what they thought, but at that point I didn't really care. I laughed and smiled all the way to the check out! Surely, there were some that were laughing with me (or more like laughing at me).

The point is, learn to laugh at yourself; even when you find yourself doing what you feel the dumbest at doing!

I Don't Want To

2006-11-14T12:54:00.000-06:00

You know, I really don't feel like writing. But there is some strange satisfaction in doing something when you don't feel like it. It is like, going beyond yourself. So, I'll try to capture a few thoughts.

Have you ever thought about what it means to "take up your cross and follow"? If not, it is high time we do. Because the Master said, "If anyone wants to be a follower of mine, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (Matthew 16:24) I want to be a follower; do you? If so, we have to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. This is pretty hard stuff...Have you thought about what it would be like to totally abandon selfish interests? -- If we removed the thought of what this means for me? It is a struggle to think in those terms, but the more we do it, the more we are followers to Christ. This is the irony - we have become so busy and selfish that we seldom think about others and mostly about us. We often use the excuse that we are thinking of our family. Our family needs to see sacrifice.

But it's the part about taking up the cross and following that is really hard. The cross is heavy, cumbersome, and dirty. The stigma of the cross is bad - people look at us differently. They see us a social outcast. The cross is a symbol of humility. But even worse is the fact that I know where you have to take the cross. You have to carry it to the hill so that in public humility you must be crucified!

I just realized something: even the conviction of being right for Jesus can be wrong. Do you get it? Holding fast to being right is selfish and not a denial of self. I'm not talking about giving up morals or anything like that. I'm talking about holding fast to a stand you are making of personal choice. The hard part is not realizing your "wrongness", but quietly shouldering your cross and shuffling down the path after Him.

A Meager Beginning

2006-11-13T16:28:00.000-06:00

I am soooo excited about this! A chance to publish all the stuff no one ever wants to hear! What a cool thing!

The name of the site may have you wondering: Savior Stretching. I love controversy...just love it. It gives us something to talk about. The reason I can love it so much is because I am secure in my God and don't have to worry about always being right! But...if you are wondering whether I mean that we can stretch Jesus...nah! The statement goes like this:

"Are you stretching the Savior, or is the Savior stretching you?"

How do you like them apples? Are you creating a god to fit your mold, your lifestyle? Or are you being stretched? It is good to be stretched. I would say that if you are not being stretched, you are not being Christ-like; you are not growing.

I remember having a Stretch Armstrong. Do you remember him? A rubber doll filled with gooey jelly. I loved that guy! I could pull his arms and legs, stretching him as far as my arms would reach. Eventually, he would go right back to his original form. Good 'ole stretch did not like cold weather, though--he turned hard as a rock! (You would hate the cold if you were in your underwear!) He also made for a good weapon. He was heavy!

Anyway, where was I going? I feel like a friend who has ADD--just can't stay focused! Oh yeah, so the stretching thing. People like to try to stretch Jesus to fit their idea of God. But His form will not be changed. Because just like stretch, it hurts when He hits you!

Wow! this is so liberating. I'll have to dress up the site a bit in the future. For now, it is great to unload!